It Is What It Is

It is what it is...It's a spiritual thing! We aren't fighting against flesh along this journey called LYFE. The fight is fixed and is only in place to get my discernment to a place where I can see the snakes who are camouflaged in sheep clothing. You think that everybody that smiles at you is your friend? Don't fool yourself! If you haven't experienced the pain of being backstabbed by those close to you, well, as the saying goes, "keep on living!"

It's a spiritual thing so don't allow yourself to get caught up with what you see with your natural eye because it's a lot deeper than it looks. People come to you, just like they do me for everything and what do we get in return? Lies, rumors and innuendos, finger pointing, and the list goes on and on. It is what it is...And with that said, stay focused on your purpose and destiny in God. I know that there are times when you feel like giving up. You feel like throwing in the towel and saying, "to hell with all of them." But I admonish you today to remember the promise that God gave you!

It is what it is...So don't let the lies, rumors, finger pointing, etc. stop you! Keep on keepin' on!

Until then...I Wait

There are so many things that are going on at this present time that I feel kinda suspended in between what was and what is to come. I'm excited about what I sense taking place in the spiritual realm for my life, however, I'm exhausted because I feel as if I've been here before. I don't want to keep going around and around in circles. No, that's not me. I can't waste time or spend my time with the miniscule of life. There are big things in store and I want to make sure that I'm in the right posture to be a recipient.

I don't know how long the wait is, but what else do I do but continue doing what I do? Why give up now? I thought something would have happened a few years back but I'm still here. I thought I'd be doing more than I am now, but, still I wait. How much longer? Well, as long as it takes for my season of manifestation to come! I'm not about to walk away from my destiny now! There are a lot of people hanging in the balance that are watching my every move. The wrong move for me now COULD prove fatal for someone else. So, I am going to wait on the Lord and trust Him. Besides, who else can I trust? The word of the Lord told me not to put my trust in man, so there goes that!

God's got this under control no matter how impatient I am. I really want someone to come along who can help me publish the books that I feel in my spirit. I also want someone to truly help me with the mix CD's that I hear in the future. But, at the same time, I don't want to get ahead of schedule. So, I yet wait until my change MANIFESTS...and when it does, I won't have to ask anyone because they'll all be there to see God's hand!

But until then...I Wait!

Happy Thanksgiving

During the new season that has begun, please take time to enjoy family and friends! Each day is precious and you never know what day may be your last!

And The Band Played On...

I'm right where God wants me to be today. Because never in my life have I felt so out of control than I do right at this very moment. As much as I try to be a person with a cool demeanor, there have been things taking place inside of me that I can't really comprehend as to its meaning. Now before anyone says that I'm not spiritual enough or something crazy and superficial like that, let me preface by saying that how I'm feeling has nothing to do with my relationship with the Lord. That's the only thing amidst the chaos in my life that I am at peace with. Do you want to know why? Glad you asked! Because God knows everything about me and before this day began He knew that I would be writing this. He knows my shortcomings and He still loves me. He knows what makes me tick and He yet cares about my well-being. If I were to share with a majority of you the things that have been going through my head for the past week or so, most of you would want and expect me to turn in my ministerial credentials! Boy, am I glad that you're aren't God! :)

Things are tight right now but I haven't lost my mind. I haven't lost my ability to laugh. I haven't lost my will to live. If you were me you would wonder how I get up everyday and do all I do. Frankly, I wonder the same damn thing sometimes but I yet press through because I know eyes are watching. There are young people (and old folks too) who look at me and think that I really have it together! Now I know the real deal and this is what keeps me humble. Last week I received an email from someone that I think is a close friend berating me on how judgmental I can be. Now, while I know there is a side of me that strives for perfection, I know good and well that I'm far from perfect. I also know that I can be condescending from time to time when I get angry or allow my attitude to get the best of me. But what am I supposed to do about it today? Not a doggone thing! I need to be me! I'm not trying to be approved by anyone at this particular time, so I need to maintain my equilibrium the best way I can for the time being until the time comes to change course.

Am I saying that I'm turning a deaf ear to the things that people say about me? NO! I'm very much interested in seeing how I'm perceived, but I have to balance that with what God says about me! If I allowed any and everybody to determine my actions, then I'd be pretty messed up right about now because we are living in an age where everybody is in everybody's business for absolutely no reason at all! So, at this period in my life, I have to be absolutely sure of one thing and that is, "WHAT DOES GOD THINK ABOUT ME?" For where I am on my journey, this is all that matters. Don't worry, I'll deal with this email from last week, but right now it's important that I stay focused for the changes that are taking place in front of my very eyes!

Let the band play on...

Takin' It One Day At A Time

I made it through the weekend, and I'm now at the beginning of a new week. What's going to take place this week? I said my goodbyes to "yesterday" but does that mean I go back to business as usual or what? What's next? The weather is changing and everyone that I'm close to is in a state of flux so how can I get things back to being normal? Or is normalcy even a possibility at this stage of the journey...I mean, having gone through loss after loss and disappointment after disappointment, how do I get back to the way things used to be when the people who used to be in place have been removed, either by death, or by the choices they've made?

I know I probably sound real "out there" right now but this is where I am today. The phone has been ringing off the hook all day and it's not even noon yet! Someone called and asked me about how I learned to trust the Lord. That's a very thought provoking question because it took me back to my days in the ATL when I was somewhat all by myself, meaning that I didn't have my close family. I didn't know how to trust in the Lord during those days because I had my father and I had a mentor. I didn't know how to trust in the Lord because, although I was real "out there" in many of the things that I was doing, I hadn't experienced any life-changing experiences as of yet! But, as the saints of old would always say, "keep on living" and you'll have some REAL LIFE experiences with God afterwhile!

Trusting God is an everyday journey now because I learned when I lost my father that He was my father. I learned when the doctors gave me a bad report that He was my physician. I learned when other tragic events took place that He was my peace. I mean, what was I going to do during these events? Cry? Kick and scream? Pout? Yeah, it all sounds good, but after I got finished doing all of the above, nothing changed! The circumstances were still what they were. I was still fatherless, I was still sick, I was still without, I was still all by myself. So, in the event of being all by myself and seeing no way out, I turned my attention to the only One who could help! GOD!

The message in church just a week ago was taken from Isaiah, chapter 6, "In the year that King Uzziah died I saw also the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple." Isaiah looked to the king when God wanted the attention. After the king was removed, Isaiah was able to see clearly the One who wanted the attention to begin with. I said all that to say, in the midst of the struggles that I've been going through, my focus has had to be and will continue to be on the Lord! It's tight and it hurts but what else am I going to do? I can't look to men because they'll fail me on every hand, but my hope has got to be built on NOTHING LESS than the Lord! He is the only One that can get me through these trying times!

I'm taking it one day at a time...

So Long...for now

Words cannot express what I'm feeling today. I've been preoccupied all day long and, just like I did last week, I allowed excuses to keep me from writing this earlier. Again, I ask your forgiveness. Alot of different emotions are running through my mind right now so I don't know where to start or end, so what I'll say is that I ask for your prayers.

Many of you know that a fraternity brother of mine passed away. And the wake and funeral services are tomorrow and Saturday. My aim is to get through this weekend as best as I can and close the door while remembering what Kevin stood for. As I said in an earlier blog, for him to endure the trials that he had to confront and yet every time I saw him he had the biggest smile. No matter what, he was a fighter. He was a warrior in the truest sense and I'm going to miss his presence. Though I know his spirit will live on in those of us who remain, keeping it real, things are never ever going to be the same.

Now I have to adjust to life without a valuable brother. It's true that you don't know how good you have it until something is taken away from you. Well, I'm feeling the heat right now because wake and funeral services are the closure services that I never look forward to. My uncle is a mortician so in one sense, I'm kinda numb to funeral homes, however, no matter how numb I may be, when it's someone special, it's a whole new ball game quite frankly! No, I don't like what I'm feeling but in life, you have to learn to live with some disappointments. If Jesus went through, then why shouldn't I?

It's this time in my life that I'm hurting and full of pain but I'm learning to trust in the Lord and not lean on my own understanding. Because I don't understand, but I'm not supposed to. The Lord wants me to trust in Him because He knows what He's doing not me! I just know that He doesn't make mistakes and He knows what's best!

So long Tippy, for now...Til we meet again!

Confronting Grief

It’s been just a few days and from the responses that I read I know that I’m not the only one that is struggling with death. You may not have known my friend and fraternity brother, Kevin but if you’re a living being, one thing that I know for sure is that you’ve had to contend with the death of someone close. If you haven’t, as grandma would always say, “keep on living!!!” It’s amazing that someone so young (mid-30’s) could affect so many in so many different ways! To know his struggle with health but yet, every time I would see him and would ask him how he was doing, he would turn the conversation around to inquiring how I was doing! It was so funny because I would always tell him that I was concerned about him and his well being and he’d always tell me he appreciated it, but that his life was in God’s hands! No matter what, come what may, his faith and trust was in God!

This is what’s getting me through right now because I’m learning that, even though many view me as a leader, I’m learning not to appear as being TOO STRONG when something like this takes place. Why? Because it’s not healthy! I learned a valuable thing when my father died and it’s coming back to me now and that is, it’s okay to cry, scream, vent, and say that it hurts! Cuz right now all types of emotions are going through my head and it keeps me wondering about my time here on earth. The scripture says that there is a time to be born and a time to die. It’s amazing that both of these times have nothing to do with us, but God. We didn’t decide when it was time for our birth and we DEFINITELY don’t have a voice when it’s our time to transition to the next life. But the question that I’m asking myself is, “am I prepared for whenever my time is up?” Is my business settled? Is my insurance paid up? Is my will set in motion? If I die today, will it matter that I was born? Will there be lives that can say they were better because I walked this earth? What will be said? Will there be people that will turn a “40-ounce” over my grave as if to say, “peace!” and then go on with life as usual or will there be people who will remember what I stood for and try there best to make their life have meaning? HMMMMM just something that’s causing me to ponder on my comings and goings throughout the day…cuz a lot of the stuff I do could be done a lot better in lieu of the fact that I’m not promised a tomorrow.

Don’t want to come across as being somber, but I am! This is the part of stages of dealing with death that I’m learning takes month to get through. You know, most people will grieve until the body is buried, and then they continue on with a morbid sense of reality like nothing happened…for me, I can’t do that. I have to take time to reflect on the life that just passed and make sure that I’m living my life to the fullest in spite of the pain that the loss has brought me. Yes, I grieve and hurt but this is how I do it best, by voicing my pain I get through it a lot better than I would by “acting” as if I was okay! See, I acted when my dad died…and it came back to bite me months later. No more. It’s important that I go through the stages properly so that I don’t allow a habit to develop, through my suppression, that could set in motion my eventual demise, if you know what I mean?

It's good to be real and acknowledge where I am on this day! I'm not alone because God is with me through this time. He promised He would never leave me or forsake me and He promised that He'd wipe away every tear from my eyes! He has been and will continue to hold me because it does hurt and I do share with many others at this time the loss of a friend, but I'm not going to lose heart for I know that God makes all things work together for good! I find consolation in His word because He's faithful and watches over His word because He cannot lie! Be blessed in knowing this and let the peace of God which passes all understanding keep your hearts and minds during this season in your life.

Remembering Kevin

As I said last week, things could be worse. For those who are interested, yes, my fraternity brother passed away on Saturday night after being in a coma for a week. I can't tell you the questions that were running through my head. Questions like, why? Why him and not me? He was married with a toddler so now who's going to look after his son? It's not like he was a deadbeat dad and he didn't take care of his responsibilities. He did, he was a loving husband and father who would be there for you if you needed him. I had questions for days pouring out of my spirit because I was trying, the best I could, too comprehend why God would allow this to happen to such a man with such promise in life? Why would God take Kevin and not one of the okie dokes out in the world.

You see, even though I'm mature in the Lord, I yet have questions that only God can answer. I just attended a funeral for a man in his 70's last week. And now I'm facing yet a funeral for a YOUNG man in his 30's. As I said in a previous blog, I've got real life issues that I'm facing so I no longer have time to pontificate about such a delicate situation. I'm hurting over the loss of my brother and yet, while I'm in pain, I have to yet push through the pain because I still have to live. Do I like the circumstances that I'm facing this week? My answer is a resounding NO. Do I wish there were a different outcome? HELL YES! But the reality and the final analysis is that I wasn't asked for my input, opinion, or permission by the Father.

That's something we forget when we're dealing with tragedy. God knows and feels what we're going through. He allowed himself to take on flesh and succumb to death so that He could feel our desperation for Him. He took on the form of a man so that He could put Himself in our shoes and have a sense of what it's like to endure the suffering of a death or even the sickness that leads to the death of a family member or friend. I thank Him for being able to help me through this because to me, personally, it's not fair. There are plenty other people that God could have taken, but He didn't. Now I've got to learn to cope with life from a different angle, because Kevin is gone. There's nothing that I can do about that now, but the peace is that I know that, because of my faith in Christ, I know I'll see him again.

It doesn't help in the "now" but it helps my outlook for the future as I move on and remember what Kevin stood for and represented. Kevin endured great challenge and tribulation in his life, but I can't recall ever seeing him complain. Every time I saw him, even the last time I saw him which was 2 weeks ago at a restaurant, he had the same smile on his face. I know his faith was tied up and tangled up in the Lord, and that's the peace that I have as I close one chapter of my life and dare to begin another.

What's to come in the days ahead??? I don't know, but what I do know is that I'm reaching for my destiny because I believe, in spite of what I'm feeling like or how things look, my best days are yet ahead of me! So, as I remember Kevin (aka "Tippy") for the rest of my life, I'll forever visualize a man who stood tall and strong during his most challenging and difficult days!

It Could Be Worse

This has been a day! I'm looking at the time and I'm taking note that it is now after 8pm. I don't think that it's ever taken me this long to blog but today I have to be honest and say that I didn't feel like writing a thing! I was so overwhelmed with stuff that is going on with people that I'm connected to, that I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I didn't feel like doing anything, but I still had to go to work. I didn't feel like doing anything but I still had meetings to attend. I didn't feel like being Richard, but I had to push through my feelings and realize that things could be a whole lot worse! Feel me? I know some don't but others may have a clue what I'm going through right about now. For the past few months I've been consistent with my blogs but today it seemed like everything crashed in around me and I felt isolated as if I was all alone on a deserted island. Wow...I'm looking at what I'm writing and I'm amazed my own self because often times we go through the motions of the day without ever putting them into words!

First, let me apologize because I didn't get this out earlier. Some of you could probably care less but there are others who do check out what I got to say and I appreciate ya'll for that! But, here it is, I'm typing to you this day to be real with you on what's going on inside my mind. I have a fraternity brother who is in the hospital bed in a coma. The outlook doesn't look too good for him, but I'm yet holding on to God's word for his healing. Now I understand that God's healing isn't what registers when we think of healing, but I'm going to leave that alone and allow God to do what He do! I'm at a place where I yet have to realize that I can't do anything without the Lord. You may ask, what is he talking about? Let me explain. As much as I feel that I'm going through right now, I have to stop and repent and ask God to forgive me because things could be so much worse! I've been humbled because I often complain about the way things are going but thinking of my fraternity brother who is in his mid 30's, in a coma with a wife and child waiting at home, it kinda puts things in perspective. Feel me?

The thing is, I'm complaining about little stuff when I'm sure my frat brother would love to be in my shoes...it kinda puts things into perspective doesn't it? ...could be a lot worse!!! Can't do anything at this moment but tell God thank you!!!!

Don't Forget

I began reading about some great men and women in the history of this country and I truly must say that it has energized me. Not to go back to yesterday, but rather, to allow the same momentum to burn within me and remind me that I am the heir of a great legacy. I have greatness coursing through my veins. Men and women died for me to have the right to sit at our nations table. People were victimized and weren’t given the fundamental rights that I take for granted everyday!

Things aren’t going to go the way I want them to, but I have to have it settled in my spirit that what God started in me is going to be completed…in His timing. Until then, I have to daily lay the “me” in me that wants to push my own agenda…I have to lay that at the altar and kill it. I don’t want to mess up the plan of God. I keep saying it because I really believe that God’s plan is bigger than I can comprehend at this stage of the journey. The full agenda hasn’t been revealed to me, but I know that the safest place in the entire world is being in the will of the Father.

So, in the meantime…what do I do? Prepare for the harvest because it’s Harvest Time! It’s time to reap what has been sown. It’s time to prepare for what’s coming…and it’s not all good! There are some storms headed that will literally shake the very foundation of my faith, but it’s coming to test me and to prove me and to show me what’s in my heart.

In the midst of the new thing that is about to be ushered in…I have to remember…that I am sitting in heavenly places! Not on my way to, or getting ready to, no, right now today, I am seated in heavenly places. God placed me in here a long time ago and told me that the earth was under my feet…meaning that I am already victorious…so that’s why I can look back and say that the enemy is a defeated foe! That’s why I can look death in the face, because I’m looking at death from my seat in heavenly places…that already tells me that the victory is already mine. Come what may, let the winds blow, let the earthquakes quake, and let the storms blow. Regardless, I’m anchored with my focus on the Lord.

In this world it’s a guarantee that I will meet up with trials and tribulations. But the key is in knowing and remembering what the Lord Jesus Christ did for me already. I can’t forget what He did and what He spoke over my life. Since He doesn’t lie and cannot lie, it is in the bank for me! It has to come to pass! The key is in my ability to relay that information to the next generation! They are watching my every move! They are looking at my actions and how my words align up to what I say! So, that being said, I’m ready to rise up and execute the power, authority, and might that God has given me!

BE Who God Ordained you to BE

When you transcend time and begin walking in your destiny and authority you don't have to labor to get things accomplished. You speak and it is so! Let's take a look at the beginning in the book of Genesis. When God said, let there be light, there was light! And the light has never refused to shine since God spoke it into being. Just as God speaks and it is...so has he given us the power and authority to speak and proclaim and thing and it is. I call it a state of be-ness. If you would dare to BE who God ordained you to be...once you get into your state of be-ness...BE never stops being! It's 24-7! You don't just wake up and automatically understand your state of Be-ness. Your state of Be-ness is opened up to you through the trials and tribulations that come into your life. This is how you get to know God for yourself.

This is why when you get discouraged and downtrodden, the first thing the enemy wants to keep you from is going to church. This has happened to many of us along our journey. We encounter moments of pain and suffering and then we don't want to be bothered with the church so we stay home. Not realizing that, in our isolation, we’re becoming prey for the enemy. But when the people come together...we hook up with one another and strengthen each other...after we've hooked up you can then go back into the situation, that is because you have a different outlook on your situation and you see it as God sees it and you can be like the saints of old and say..."I believe I'll run on and see what the end is gonna be." Press your way through the drama and through the naysayers and be who God has ordained you to be. I know it can be difficult, especially when you get discouraged because you have been delivered from the same thing over and over and over again. But stay focused on purpose and destiny. BE WHO GOD ORDAINED YOU TO BE. Once you transcend to this state of being, you will look at your shortcomings as the "thorn" that will keep you humble but yet focused on the bigger picture of LYFE!

Look to the Light

Fight the fight of faith like never before. Remember the word that God spoke to you and hold it close to you with everything you have. I mean hold it like it is your child, because, in fact, it is, in a way. The word that God spoke over your life is not for today, more so for tomorrow. God is the God of yesterday, today, and forevermore. So while we are in the now looking at our now circumstances, He's in the not yet! That's the mystery about Him. He's in all three dimensions at the same time!

He hasn't forgot about the promise He made to your forefathers, no matter who they may be. Whether it's your great-grandfather, grandmother, father, or mother, the word is still in effect! God is too much God for His word to be ineffective! He has the ability to stand in the midst of your chaos and declare that He is the Light of the world! God has done it over and over and over again. He, unlike man, has the tenacious ability to allow all hell to break lose, just so that He can show Himself strong! He has never lost a case or a patient so why would He start now?

I challenge you today to take God at His word. Remember, it's according to your faith. In the book of Hebrews, the word of the Lord says, "without faith it is impossible to please God..." You have to believe in order to become a candidate for expectation! That's a whole separate blog so I'm not going there today, but take it from me, believe God and watch Him show Himself strong!!! He did it for them, so He'll do it for you because He's no respecter of persons. And the best thing of all is, after you're dead, He'll continue to abide by His word and keep watch over your entire bloodline. So look unto God this day in spite of what you may be going through because He is the author and the finisher of our faith!

It's Not Easy but Keep Pushing

It's not easy when you're going through trials and tribulations but you have to keep your eye on the bigger picture. On this journey, it may seem as if everybody has walked away from you. It may appear that all hope is lost. It may even feel like you're all alone on the road to "no where!" But you must remember the promise that God gave you. There is a purpose for everything and, although, it's painful, there is something good that is going to come forth from this time of challenge and controversy.

I, for one, have been feeling real tired as of late. My emotions have been on a big roller coaster. One moment I'm up and the next, I'm down. It's not just me, those that I'm connected too have been under attack from all different directions. This is why I know that there is something good coming from the pain and agony. It wouldn't be this rough if God weren't involved. Remember, I've said this before, the closer the baby gets to delivery, the sharper and more intense the pain gets! Holla if you hear me ladies!!!!

You're under intense pressure and strain to get what's inside of you OUT! Don't give up the fight! What's inside of you is going to touch many many generations so keep your head in the game and push! No matter who walks away from you...PUSH! No matter who lies on you...PUSH! Keep on keeping on because if you endure through this, you're going to reap the blessings from your gift to the world.

Hold your peace and keep pushing! I know you may feel like I do, there are many days where I want to just cuss someone out because they've said the wrong thing to me or they've said the wrong thing about me, but I'm learning that, through my silence, God is building character. God is preparing you for what He's put on the inside! Soon, everybody will see what God placed in you. In the meantime, keep pushing. You need to save your energy for later, that's when you're really going to need it, so just lay back and push until there is nothing left to push!

I know that someone out there says, "I ain't got nothing left to push with!!!" Yeah, I feel you, but the fact that you can say it, or even think it is fact that you've got some push left in you. Buckle down and stay in the fight! Like I said before, I don't care how bad it feels, soon and very soon your labor is going to pay off...if you don't lose heart!

PUSH through...