Keep On Going

One of the things that you have to accept about life is that you will not like everything! Knowing it and accepting it are two different things. Everyone knows that there are issues that they won't agree with others on but accepting this as fact requires a maturity and a keen awareness of those whom you have been called to walk with. When I say an awareness I'm talking about relationships. It's about knowing who you are around and understanding their positives and negatives, their strengths and weaknesses. This is vital in developing holistic relationships because a lot of your destiny is tied up in those whom you are joined too. I tell my young people all the time, your crowd will make you or break you.

This is something that is quite serious when it comes to preparing yourself for destiny. Destiny requires that you delve past the superficial or the "surface" and go into the deep places of the soul. In so doing, you open yourself to great pain. Most people lose sight of the bigger picture here at this stage because of the degree of uncomfort or dis-ease that is experienced at this stage of the journey. But let me encourage you to remember and keep sight on the prize! The journey is not for now, but it's for tomorrow...It's for our future. Yes, it may hurt and it may cause some tears but as "mama and 'nem" used to say, if it don't kill you, it'll make you strong!

In the final analysis of life, remember NO Pain, NO gain! Keep on going regardless of those who come against you to do you harm. Keep on going because the scripture says that the race isn't given to the swift or the strong but to those who endure! Endure WHATEVER and go through what you have to go through because you are on your way to someplace great! You may not understand it now but in the end you will understand that the drama, the pain, the agony, the misery, it was all brought to you NOT to kill you but it was to make you stronger than ever!

Now that's real talk...

Hold Your Peace and LIVE

Hold your peace and let God fight your battles! Stop trying to fix what you can't fix and stop trying to be something that you're not! Live for the moment and let that take you into tomorrow. If you spend your time trying to be approved by others, you will waste valuable time that could be spent doing what you were ordained to do.
Many people live and die without ever truly living because they are so inundated with being approved and affirmed by people that are not going to like you no matter what you do. I was guilty of this for a long time until I finally had to give up the consistent battle of needing to be affirmed and accepted. I am not saying that it was easy to do but I had to force myself to understand that my true affirmation came from the Lord. I had to see and understand that everybody would not like me no matter what I did. So, with that said, your only hope can be in God. Don't get caught up in the hype of needing others for acceptance. While it's good and wonderful, it can be a great hindrance in the big picture of LYFE!
Live life to the fullest and enjoy each moment...even the bad because you will find out that the dirt is what gives you your foundation to stand! Stand and BE and BE who you stand for! You will find that the greater the test, the greater your blessing. Hold your peace and let the Lord fight your battles! It'll pay off in the end!
Now that's real talk...

Hurt People Hurt People

As you go throughout your life, please understand this one thing…hurt people, hurt people. I say this because it will allow you to understand not to take things so personal as many people have. This sort of thing happens all the time, and many of you may be like me, I'm one who can be quite retaliatory when someone does or says something that offends me. I am, personally, working on my tongue constantly because I refuse to allow others to get away with anything when it comes to either "telling me off" or trying to manipulate situations to end up on top! I can't explain what happens to me but I totally lose my cool, send an email to voice my anger, or will flat-out call and tell the person myself!
Now, what I should do when hurt people hurt me? First and foremost, you have to keep your mind focused on the bigger picture. The bigger picture has nothing to do with the insecurities of those who try to hurt you. Furthermore, you have to understand that the attack is not personal; that there are other issues involved that need to be addressed that is causing them to attack you.
The second thing you have to do is remember that everybody hasn't been called to walk where you have been called to walk. You can’t allow yourself to get distracted with minute issues that people bring your way. It’s a set up to get you to take your eyes off of the prize of the higher calling – THE BIG PICTURE. It's hard to do but with all that's in you, you have to go for the gold! Strive to do greater! Determine within yourself to achieve greatness, do not, by any means settle with mediocrity. For those who are walking with the Lord, it is said in the word of God that you would endure many trials and tribulations so you have to be of good cheer because in the end, if you do not lose heart, you will reap a wonderful “harvest.”
The third thing is that you and have to understand that they don't mean to hurt you but they can't help themselves because they have obviously either refused to admit that they've been hurt and have problems trusting, which cause them to do crazy and stupid things which offend you or they know that they're hurt but they don't want to accept the fact and strive for inner healing.
Either way it goes, understand that hurt people hurt people and in order to NOT become someone who hurts others, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure you deal with any insecurities you have and confront them honestly so that you don't push those who are in your corner away! Unfortunately, many people are guilty of this and they don't realize it until it's too late! ACT NOW before it’s too late!
Now that’s real talk…

Take a Chance at LYFE

As you go into the rest of this week, I challenge you today to Live L.Y.F.E! What do you have to lose? Life is to be lived and we spend most of our time contemplating our every move according to our wallet. We spend so much time in our day looking at how messed up things are or the mistakes that we made yesterday! I have an announcement: YESTERDAY IS GONE! All you have is today and if you spend too much time today looking at yesterday, your today will become yesterday as well. So, enough already, get up and LIVE!

I say this because for far too long I've been guilty of staying on the sidelines of LYFE to where I was a programmatic human being. By programmatic I mean that I did everything according to what was written in my daily schedule. If it wasn't written, I wasn't doing it. In other words, I wasn't willing to take risks and live LYFE the way I now believe we were all created to live. I've come to an understanding after the past few months of living that I no longer want to live on the sidelines while the world is passing me by. I believe that the Lord pre-ordained me for greatness! I believe that I'm the head and not the tail! Not only do I believe it, it's a fact! Why is it a fact? Because I said so! No longer will I sit and sing my shoulda coulda woulda's! Life is to be lived and lived to the fullest degree! Believe it and receive it TODAY!!!! I'm on my way to speak at a youth conference where I'm destined to meet up with some people who are headed in the same direction that I am headed in...I would never discover this if I was worried about "this" and "that!" Take a chance at LYFE and discover what God has already ordained for you to walk in! Why not? You only live this life once? Take the risk and see... Now that's real talk...

Live to the Fullest

Today began quite hectic because at the start I received a troubling call. Another brother within the fraternity that I'm apart of passed...SUDDENLY. Things like this can be cataclysmic in that there is nothing one can do to prepare. What do you do? I remember the day my father passed away...SUDDENLY and there was nothing I could do but come to terms with what had happened and begin my preparation to move on with life. Life is not fair! You can be here one day and in another hour, GONE...Just like that!

To begin my day with such shocking news made me ask some questions. Why am I hear? What purpose do I serve on this earth? Why do bad things happen to good people? When I see all the other people that God could have taken why someone who was a father, husband, brother to many, and friend? It's defining moments such as these that help me to regain focus and not sweat the little things in life. Because in the final analysis I am not going to live forever either so it makes me wonder if I'm prepared to go??? If the dearly departed could say anything to me today, I wonder what exactly would any of them say to me? What would they say to a world that spends its time majoring in the minors instead of focusing on the majors? What would they say if they had one last opportunity to give parting words...I can't help but wonder if they'd challenge us to LIVE TO THE FULLEST!

On this day, I challenge all of us to live each day that God gives to the fullest extent and not be encumbered with the intricacies of the comings and goings because they really don't matter. Keep in mind that there is a bigger picture in life and it has nothing to do with us individually but we each play a part in the destiny of the next generation. My thoughts and prayers are on those of us who remain...that we don't continue to be drunk with the wine of the world to the point that we forget the essence and passion in which we are destined to live. Let us live each day as if it is our last! Live to the fullest! Let those you love know that they are, in fact, loved. Let those who played a vital role in your upbringing and success know that their labors have not been in vain! Live to the fullest and die with no regrets!

Now that's real talk...06

Real Men - Real Fathers

I take this time to pay respects where respects are due; to REAL MEN WHO ARE REAL FATHERS! Fathers day comes along every year and we generally take one Sunday to say, "happy father's day!" However, we often continue on with life without really reflecting on what it takes to be a real man in society today. A real man isn't just one who has a job or has a nice automobile. A real man is not one who has a sexual organ that proves he isn't a female. A real man is one who understands that his responsibility is directing the next generation into a better tomorrow. On the campus of Morehouse College, my alma mater, there is a statue of one of the greatest men that ever lived, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., the reason I bring this up is because the statue is erected with Dr. King pointing forward. The statue suggests, just as Dr. King insinuated in many of his speeches, that the life is not for just today but for tomorrow.

A real man is not caught up with the intricacies of today. He does not take thought with where he will sleep or what he will eat but he is fixated on making sure that his children have the right foundation on which to build on that which he leaves behind. A real man is not encumbered with the number of women (or men) he sleeps with but he's unselfish in making sure that he leaves an inheritance to his children's children. A real man is not worried about depreciable assets such as cars, clothes, or anything else that drops in value after it is purchased but he's more concerned that his legacy "spands" down through the centuries. A real man, and I do mean a real man is not worried about making a "name" for himself because he understands that if there is a "name" to be made it will only take place through the embodiment of his offspring.

Now, understand this, nowhere does a real father need or have to physically birth a child to be considered a real father. I say this because throughout this nation there are plenty of children being born everyday, however, there are very few men stepping to the plate to watch over their inheritance. I say inheritance because that is, in fact, exactly what children are, an inheritance given from God. So, I again pay tribute to Real Men who are Real Fathers, I being one of them, because a real man is unselfish in his quest to watch over the next generation. A real father is not focused on the blood that runs through the veins of a child in considering whether or not he will "stand in the gap" as an intercessor. A real man who becomes a real father does not just sign up for a temporary assignment but understands that this is a permanent position in life. A real man who is a real father is not just around for the good days but is aware that there will be difficult days ahead as well. A real father is more concerned with pointing a child forward into their destiny. That's a real father and today and everyday I thank God for those of us who have transcended time in order to see that our tomorrow is better off today!

God bless the real men who are real fathers; not because of their ability to make a child but for their ability to be unselfish and give LYFE and vision so that a child can grow and understand their purpose in life. I have come to realize that the "D" in Dad stands for Destiny!

Dad is Destiny! Now that's real talk...

Positive Affirmation is Powerful

Words Have Power
The following were inspired by Gary Takacs who is a highly respected business consultant.

I promise:
To be strong so that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To make everyone feel that there is something special in them.
To look at the positive side of everything and make my optimism come true.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
To learn from the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To have a cheerful presence at all times and give every living creature I meet a smile.
To give so much time and effort to the improvement of myself that I have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too hapy to permit the presence of trouble.
To be a light for others, not a judge of others.

Speak this positive affirmation today and everyday and watch your life transition to a new dimension! Pass this along to others so they can get in on the blessing as well...
Now this IS real talk...

Stay in the PRESS

You have to realize is that only you really know what you have to do from day-to-day! So, stop allowing people's actions or lack of action to discourage you. As long as you know that God put a desire in your spirit, trust and believe that He'll bring people around you to help bring the dream/vision to pass. It's easy to give up when after you've shared your dreams and visions with others and they sign up for the journey with you, to get disgruntled when you can't seem to find them when the going gets tough! I know personally that life can be a TRIP! And people who say they are for you have a strange way of showing it, but as I say time and time again, CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE of the situation!

By that I mean, look at this as a part of the process. Many great people have the same story you do so don't feel as if it's personal or don't feel as if you're all by yourself. The word of God says that the race isn't given to the swift or to the strong but it's given to the one who ENDURES to the end! Rejoice because you're not finished with your journey and in the words of the poem, "you have miles to go before you rest..." Those who came before you went through worse and still never gave up! As a matter of fact, you have to remember that you have greatness coursing through your veins and it's going to take some time for the dream to manifest but keep on keeping on!

Stay in the PRESS---You're closer today than you were yesterday so don't quit! Stay in the Press---many that came before you died but you survived! Stay in the Press---Work your dream until there is nothing else to work! Believe in your vision until others around you believe it as their own and by all means KEEP HOPE ALIVE! As long as it's alive there is still yet the ability for the dream to MANIFEST! So, stay in the PRESS!

P-Prayer; Believe it or not, prayer changes you and allows you to see differently the people around you.

R-Rejoice in Advance; Although the situation may not change immediately, Keep your spirit up because your spirit can change the atmosphere around you.

E-Expect Anything; At this point, believe and know that anything can happen at anytime. It's all about expectation. If you put it out there you may hook up to your hook up at ANY GIVEN MOMENT!

S-Share the dream/vision with others; If you don't speak it you won't give others an opportunity to be apart of the blessing that God is getting ready to manifest in your life!

S-Stay Strong; The race is given to those who Endure even in difficult times!

Now that's straight up talk...

Never Give UP

Never give up! No matter how awful things look because the darkest hour is just before the day! I received yet another phone call from one of the mother’s whom I have been working with for the past few years regarding her son…my son for that matter. She called to inform me that he had been arrested AGAIN and was going to be gone for a period of time! Initially, I was a little distressed because after putting so much time and energy into helping others I was beginning to think that my labor was in vain! But what I had to do was change my perspective of the entire situation. After doing this I began to see completely different!

Sometimes in life situations that we are in tend to get worse before they get better and during the process we lose heart because of all the dismay and upheaval that is caused! But be encouraged and know that God is at work and is manifesting Himself even in the midst of dire circumstances! Yes, it's rough and tough to keep a good face in the midst of constant turbulence but understand that God is the pilot in charge and the plane isn't going to crash because you have been called for destiny and purpose! Even I wanted to throw in the towel for a brief minute because I was tired of feeling like I wasn't getting a return on my investment. After all that I have done for so many others, it just seemed as if it would be best for me to give up and say "I QUIT!" But what I first had to do is PRAY! After praying, I changed my posture so that I could make sure that I found God in the circumstance...After doing the rest is what it is! I can't give up because I know this generation is special to God!

God never said that the road would be easy did He? No, He said that "in this world you will have tribulations but be of good cheer because I have overcome the world." Now He said this before he went to the cross so if He overcame before He was brutalized then what did He do? He changed His perspective! It's all about how you see a thing that determines your outcome. How do you see the present trials that face you? If you see them as little things, then they are what you say they are!

You see; I’ve learned that you can never give up on the children. Although they do things that disappoint, you can never ever give up! The day you give up might as well be their last day to live because they rely on the hope in knowing that their parent(s)/teachers, advisors/counselors will be there for them, in the good and yes, even in the bad. So, I’m encouraging you and speaking to myself at the same time to keep hope alive! The brighter days are still ahead! The Lord has been faithful to me for this long, why would I think it would stop now? If I’ve learned anything from working with youth over the past 10+ years, it’s been the importance of PRAYER! On days when I have wanted to give up, prayer has been the thing in my life to bring me back to an equilibrium by which I’m able to see what I couldn’t see with the natural eye!

So I leave you with these words…never give up, even when all hope is lost and it seems that it’s getting worse instead of better.

NEVER GIVE UP!

F.E.A.R.

For those of you who don't know me, I am an avid reader. I'm always reading something positive and informative in order to be able to join the conversations that are taking place in the community and in the world. I'm in the process of reading the book written by Hill Harper, "Letters to a Young Brother," in which he writes about the issue that holds many of us hostage today - FEAR!

This particular chapter grabbed me because I realized that even I, with all that I have accomplished, still battle with this deadly poison called fear. Why would I call this a deadly poison? I call it such because fear, when embraced, becomes an agent that works to paralyze you from doing what it is you are destined to do. Or, another way of looking at it, it causes you to think, when inhaled into your being, that you are inadequate in and of yourself. Fear will drive you to worry which can lead to sickness or even worse, death. And I've come to realize that there are many who are living physically, but spiritually or mentally dead because of fear!

It was amazing as I continued to read that I was dealing with a few issues that I thought I had overcome. I didn't even want to write this but one way of getting over fear is confrontation and this is something I do on a continual basis in order to never be locked into YESTERDAY. I made a declaration last night that I wouldn't allow my fears or insecurities to hinder what I know God has placed within me. So, today, I'm pushing forward for the prize that is ahead of me no matter what the outcome may bring.

I just recently decided to publish a book that I wrote well over a year ago and the reason I'm just now doing so is because I was afraid! I was afraid of what people might say and I was afraid of what people might think. I was afraid of being laughed at...I could keep going on and on and on. But the fear of what if kept me from proceeding forward and the outcome has been NOTHING! What have I been waiting on? Perfect conditions? If that's the case, then I'll be waiting for the rest of my life because conditions will never be perfect. So, now it's time to move forward and maybe no one will publish the book but I will never know if I am too afraid to step out and do what I have never done before. I could keep on making excuses for why I can't but at the end of the day God is going to come to me and ask me what I did with the gifts he blessed me with.

In Hill Harper's book, he describes fear as "False Evidence Appearing Real." It's amazing that you and me have allowed false evidence that appeared real to keep us from reaching our destinies! Many of us have been walking around dead spiritually because of our misconstrued perception and the real question is, how many people are suffering because of the fear that has imprisoned us? I can only answer for me but after today, I'm done with fighting this toxic poison called fear.

"There are three kinds of people in life, those who make things happen; those who wait for things to happen; and those who sit and wonder what happened." Now which one are you?

Now that's real talk...

HE Saved the Best for Last

As I was driving into work this morning, I began to hear the song that was sung by Vanessa Williams entitled, "Saved the Best for Last." Instantly, I could feel my inner-self coming alive because I was being reminded within my soul that no matter how bad things may look like or how often people try to block you from advancing, GOD, not man, saved the best for last!

Man cannot block or hinder you from advancing when it is your time! Receive that this day and understand that during this season of transition that the entire world is going through, it's YOUR time to come forth! I know you're probably like me, I've heard this in church so often that I've kind of become immune to the statement almost to the point that all I looked at it as was a real nice song! But this morning there was something different about what I was hearing. It was as if God, Himself, came out of eternity into time and got into the radio and used the song to speak directly to me! The funny thing to me is that I don't even really know the words to the rest of the song, the only thing that came playing and RE-playing in my spirit was HE SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST!

To some of you this may not mean anything, but there are a lot of questions that I reserved for the Lord in questioning why things happened the way they did in my life and in the life of my father before me. And this statement, HE SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST, answers a question that resounds in my life with purpose because I was determined to NOT be a victim of other people's expectations! I was determined that my life wasn't going to be a repeat of many of the things that my father went through and kept silent about! That's not me...I don't shut up when I smell manipulation, contempt, and others who are insecure trying to flex and control me and my actions! So, like many of you, I am always asking the question, WHY? Why are things like they are? Why are people always trying to make me think I'm the problem? Why can't I just be who God ordained me to be? Why can't people just leave me the hell alone so that I can grow and mature into the man that God would have me to be? And the answer came back to me, and I pray that you receive it as well, HE SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST!

It was all a test to see if you'd lose heart and become discouraged. It was just a test to see if you'd give up and throw in the towel but I want you to be encouraged today that God hasn't forgotten you because HE SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST!

Now that's straight up talk...

Born to Rebel

There are some situations in life where you have to realize that you are called to start something new. The old way was good for it's time but now, today, is a new day. Rejoice and know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made! You are an original and you need to understand that. You may not fit in to the status quo and that's quite alright. Don't let anyone tell you that you need to "get with the program!" Some programs were designed without you in mind, so it's okay to start something that fits with where you are.

You may be like me, for a long time I felt as if I was a round peg trying to fit into a square hole. I just felt like the odd man out and without realizing it, I distanced myself from everyone around me. Instead of embracing my differences, I entertained thoughts of suicide and alienation because I didn't know how to communicate what was going on in my mind! But thanks be to God I didn't remain in that "rut," I, instead, decided to be proactive rather than inactive and be the catalyst for change! I got sick and tired of being sick and tired and that right there made all the difference in the world!

When someone tells me I'm rebellious now, I receive it differently from the way I used to. I now look at it from a different perspective which allows me to process it in it's totality. The late Dr. Benjamin Elijah Mays, a great philosopher of his time and a former president of Morehouse College, wrote a book titled, "Born to Rebel" in which he discusses his upbringing and how he fought against the system of his day. He didn't take the brunt of racism the way he was supposed to take it. He wasn't supposed to get an education but he attained his PhD. He wasn't supposed to rise to the ranks to become an advisor to the United States President, but he did it anyway. He wasn't supposed to produce leaders but became a mentor to one of the greatest African Americans whom we now honor with a holiday, none other than the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

You see, the point is this, if you allow others to control your thinking they will, in turn, control your actions! Realize and understand this one thing, you were born for a purpose that may not fit within the confines of the parameters people place you in. So, don't let it stop you and don't be disrespectful, but with everything in you understand and accept the fact that you were born for greater. Understand and know that it's not just about you but about the generations connected to your every decision. So, with that said, the next time someone tells you that you are fighting against the "system," look at it the way I do and just say, "I was born to rebel" and be apart of something new!

Now that's straight up talk!

Stay On Your "Grind" No Matter What

No matter what things look like, stay in the press and grind it out! People have no clue as to what you really went through to get to where you are today so don't give them the satisfaction of trying to explain yourself! You don't owe ANYONE anything and don't let people put you in a trick bag to make you think you do! The old guard is good for playing the manipulation card! It was used a lot "back in the day" to keep people enslaved but now that we are more educated and more knowledgeable about what all is out here, we've grown further than the idiosyncrasies of the past! The past is just that...In the past!

Understand one thing, tomorrow belongs to those who prepare TODAY...NOW! Realize that doors will be shut in your face but that doesn't mean that it's not your season, it's just that your blessing is going to come from a different house, that's all. Don't allow bitterness, envy, jealousy, and intimidation to get the best of you as many from the old guard will disappoint you and count you out. If you stay focused you'll realize that those who said NO served as the catalyst for your unveiling!

I am not just saying this because I have nothing better to say. This is a time when you have to push through the pain and hurt and remember why you were sent to this earth. You're here for more than just to have a job and get married. You're here for more than just living from paycheck to paycheck. In the bigger scheme of things you're supposed to have great influence. How will you develop influence if your name is not known? Remember, the old guard isn't going to do it for you, you're going to have to do it yourself. As Jesus told Peter in the gospels, "Cast down your nets!" If you never put "IT" out there, you'll never be able to see the manifest blessings of God! Take note, in the scriptures, when Peter through his nets down his catch was so great that the other boats had to help him with his catch!

Stay on your grind and put your expectations to the test. As a matter of fact, let your expectations work for you rather than you working for them. With intimidation and contempt...But they'll see after awhile, just make sure you don't let it bread anger and hostility in your heart. I guarantee, you'll see the atmosphere around you begin to change. So, dare to believe God and step out on faith--take action!!! Let the rest handle itself...As my young folks say, STAY ON YOUR GRIND no matter what!