The Garden of Gethsemane

This is where I am today. I have been studying what actually happened while Jesus was in the Garden and it amazes me how hard he toiled. The garden represents more than a place where you grow fruits, vegetables, or plants but the garden represents and symbolizes a place of death. The garden is actually where you go to lay your life down. If you approach the garden properly you will not leave the same way you came. If you read carefully Jesus left on two different occasions to find that there were those that he asked to "watch" with him had fallen asleep.

What this says to me is there are some experiences that you have to walk alone. This is the hard part because you can be in a crowd of people and yet still be all by yourself. At the same time you can have a smile on your face but yet be full of trepidation within your soul. You can have the look of peace and tranquility on the outside while you are in agony and pain because you know what the "real deal" is on the inside. And that's why I believe most definitely that you can be a public success and a private failure. If this were not possible, then how else would you explain the suicide rate for those who make over six figures a year? To have all the money in the world, like Michael Jackson, and yet be miserable is something that the average mind cannot ascertain but it happens.

So, it brings me to the conclusion of the matter. Your garden may not be my garden but each one of us has a "Gethsemane" encounter that will either make us or break us. Jesus went into the garden and because he refused to accept his cross he was able to leave with no change, still the heavy burden. I believe that Jesus was looking for affirmation from his close partners or possibly to see if Peter, who had received revelation as to him being the CHRIST, had been given any further direction than what Jesus was hearing God say. Remember, Jesus knew no sin so it's not a sin to be in trepidation or agony, but the sin is to choose an easier, quicker route to destiny that is not provisionally acceptable by God.

It was not until Jesus uttered the words, NEVERTHELESS, that he fully accepted and came into direct agreement with the Father as to the cross that he had to carry to redeem mankind. The same goes for you and me, until we come to the realization and understand that we have a cross to carry we will never be able to reign with him. Yes, it was agonizing to be betrayed and forsaken and brutally beaten to the point to where he was unrecognizable. But had he escaped the death and burial, there would not have been a resurrection. The same goes for us, we MUST accept the death walk as necessary for us in order to KNOW Christ and to reign with Him forever!

I AM ALIVE & WELL

For the past two weeks I have been on a fast because for quite some time now I have known that the Spirit has been requesting for me to transcend and go higher into a new realm of existence. I fought this for months because I knew that dying to my flesh and abstaining from fleshly desires (food) would be costly as well as make me vulnerable but things in my life got to such a point that I had no other choice. I had to go UP because that is where destiny is.

What do I mean some of you may ask? The circumstances surrounding me have continued to grow all the while I have prayed and prayed asking God to remove them but they wouldn't go. I thought I was going crazy or doing something wrong. Well, I was because I was ignoring the command to turn aside from my fleshly desires for 40 plus days. By not doing so, the evil surrounding me was given the "green" light to advance full speed. My anxiety came back and I couldn't sleep because of my disobedience. Not obeying God fully is disobedience to be clear. So, with that said, I said YES to God and have journeyed on a 40 day hiatus with God.

Today I can announce that I have BE-come the journey, I am no longer on a journey. There is a difference, it is this; going on a journey is likened unto you sitting on a bus and looking at the scenery from the side view. You are sitting in a seat and are going wherever the driver takes you. When you are the journey YOU are in charge and you look at the scenery from the view of the drivers seat and not the passenger. The perception is different when you are in the drivers seat than when you are in the passengers seat and the distinction is this, IN THE DRIVERS SEAT YOU ARE IN CHARGE.

I had to quit being passive and take charge of my life because things were getting worse instead of better and enough was enough. I apologize for not realizing the importance of waking up earlier. I apologize because there are alot of people who look to me as a role model and mentor/father figure and promise that from now on I won't be silent. September 21, 2007 was a day that literally scared the "hell" out of me. But I am back! No longer will I allow the council of evil to usurp their power and influence over me because I am greater than them.

The reason why the enemy desired to assassinate my character and integrity is because I am raising up a generation of warriors who are going to give "hell" to their dominion by taking authority over the powers of darkness. Time is up! I am awake and understand who I am and what I have been called into the Kingdom to do at this time in the earth. I am not being rude when I say, if you don't understand what I am talking about, then this is not for you. I am called to awaken a remnant of people out of their sleep and slumber and stir up their gifts so they can be employers and put the enemy to work. Yea, that's right I said it.

As the saints of old would say, "A charge to keep I have and a God to glorify who sent His son my soul to save...to serve this present age!"

It's Time to Forget Yesterday and Move Forward

I have come to a place of understanding that IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO ME! In the poem Invictus, it ends with the following phrase, "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul." And with that said, I have come to realize that it is time to advance forward and stop feeling sorry for myself. Yes, I was dealt a hard blow when I was indicted on 6 counts of stuff I didn't do. Yes, it was a blow to face the possibility of spending up to 27 years in prison had I been convicted on all counts. Yes, it was a blow to lose my job that I had had for a number of years of which I had never been written up for. Yes, it was a blow to be running succesfully for office and on my way to possibly winning and then have to drop out the race because of the indictments. Yes, it seemed highly unfair to have my life spin out of control and go up in what looked like flames! But life is what it is!

So I have come to the realization that you have to learn to take each day as it comes and not let anyone lay claim to your life. Your life is what YOU make of it. I have learned not to ever give anyone more power than they deserve. In the past two years I have been up and down. In the past two years I have made some decisions that probably were to my detriment. I was told by the Toledo Police Department and the Lucas County Prosecutor's office that I was cocky, arrogant and unapologetic! I was even told by the Judge, through my attorney, that I wanted it my way and I was attempting to butt heads with her. Now that could not have been any further from the truth but I have a need to be heard! I have a need to speak out with an injustice has occurred! I find it difficult to remain silent when there is an apparent violation of not just civil rights but human rights, so forgive me if I have come across as arrogant and cocky but the things that happened to me were horrible because I never hurt anyone. I won't now apologize for something I didn't do, but what I will do is apologize to the many people who have supported me because it has taken me sometime to fully realize why God allowed the situations to take place as He did.

That being said, the past is the past and today, April 23rd, 2009, I am still standing in my right mind and serve as the Senior Minister of "THE ROCK" Church in Toledo, Ohio. I love the members who support me and submit to my leadership. I couldn't do what I do without them showing up on Sundays to "root" for me and encourage me. "THE ROCK" Church is not the traditional church. It's anything but traditional, it's a non-traditional church that accepts people for who they are right now! We are not judgmental and we accept as is. I can't say that any more clear than right now! I like the Apostle Paul when he said, "I am forgetting what is behind and I am reaching for the things that are before me."

Let's forget about the haters and thank God that we are still alive and in our right mind! Let's move forward and get busy!