Looking for Love in all the wrong places
During this season of transition where do I find love? I wonder if I am adequate? Am I sufficient? Am I satisfactory? I can’t help but wonder, with everything that I've been through, if there is something that may be wrong with me? I have to be honest because I know I can be my own worst enemy some days! It makes me think, what is a young man like me doing alone? Is it God’s timing? Am I on God’s schedule to be single right now or have I gotten out of His will for my life? Am I afraid to approach a woman to ask her to commit to me? Or is it that I’m afraid of the commitment? Just some thoughts that make you go Hmmmmm; I really want to know, am I holding myself back from genuinely experiencing love? I don't know...but I have to confront this during this transitional time in my life.
Some might ask, why? Why do you need to confront these deep issues of the soul? Why not just move on as if everything is just everything? We tend to avoid matters of the soul because when we open up these issues, it can get kind of ugly if we’re not prepared. I’m not pleased with my insecurities, but I want to understand myself because if I don’t then I’ll continue to do a lot of the same things throughout my journey with no resolution. Matters of the heart need to When I keep playing back memories from yesterday, I'm ending up in the same exact place...I think I may have a fear of committing to there is a fear that I have pertaining to commitment! Why is this? Could it be because I don't want to disappoint anyone? Could it be that I'm afraid of being hurt? Is it that I don't feel that I don’t deserve to be loved? I'm not sure which one it is, but I'm determined to deal face to face with my insecurities. I never saw this as an issue until I was discussing with one of my young people about their need to be loved and how they feel the only way they can feel love is through sexual intercourse. And, believe it or not, this is the way not just young people feel, but adults as well. They identify love with intercourse and not just with one person, but with whoever is available for the “temporary” fix. Because at the end of the day, that’s all intercourse is anyway, a temporary fix! As I shared with her, she’s looking for love in the wrong place.
We’ve got to come to a consensus on the essentials of life as to what’s important as it pertains to relationships because we have a lot of people who are at risk of selling themselves short just because society says you’re supposed to be with somebody no matter what. I don’t know about you, but I can do bad all by myself. And as I tell my aunt, if I need comfort at night, I can buy a stuffed animal…but a quick fix isn’t going to cut it for me anymore. A quick fix isn’t going to take my insecurities away. God is the only one who can fix the imbalance in my life. He’s the one who created me and knows all about how I operate. And get this, He knows the woman that He’s prepared for me so why do I feel like I need to rush Him? If I were to listen to society and ignore my insecurities, then I’d be headed for divorce court because I’d be entering into a danger zone of sorts with hidden motives, which inadvertently will lead to destruction.
I've got to remember during this transition that God chose me! I can’t allow myself to get distracted with the whims of society. I’ve got to settle in my soul that I'm special to God. I'm fearfully and wonderfully made! He ordained me for greatness! God is love and that’s where I’m going to find true and complete wholeness, in Him! He ordered my footsteps...and in the fullness of time...His value is going to be seen in me!!!!
Some might ask, why? Why do you need to confront these deep issues of the soul? Why not just move on as if everything is just everything? We tend to avoid matters of the soul because when we open up these issues, it can get kind of ugly if we’re not prepared. I’m not pleased with my insecurities, but I want to understand myself because if I don’t then I’ll continue to do a lot of the same things throughout my journey with no resolution. Matters of the heart need to When I keep playing back memories from yesterday, I'm ending up in the same exact place...I think I may have a fear of committing to there is a fear that I have pertaining to commitment! Why is this? Could it be because I don't want to disappoint anyone? Could it be that I'm afraid of being hurt? Is it that I don't feel that I don’t deserve to be loved? I'm not sure which one it is, but I'm determined to deal face to face with my insecurities. I never saw this as an issue until I was discussing with one of my young people about their need to be loved and how they feel the only way they can feel love is through sexual intercourse. And, believe it or not, this is the way not just young people feel, but adults as well. They identify love with intercourse and not just with one person, but with whoever is available for the “temporary” fix. Because at the end of the day, that’s all intercourse is anyway, a temporary fix! As I shared with her, she’s looking for love in the wrong place.
We’ve got to come to a consensus on the essentials of life as to what’s important as it pertains to relationships because we have a lot of people who are at risk of selling themselves short just because society says you’re supposed to be with somebody no matter what. I don’t know about you, but I can do bad all by myself. And as I tell my aunt, if I need comfort at night, I can buy a stuffed animal…but a quick fix isn’t going to cut it for me anymore. A quick fix isn’t going to take my insecurities away. God is the only one who can fix the imbalance in my life. He’s the one who created me and knows all about how I operate. And get this, He knows the woman that He’s prepared for me so why do I feel like I need to rush Him? If I were to listen to society and ignore my insecurities, then I’d be headed for divorce court because I’d be entering into a danger zone of sorts with hidden motives, which inadvertently will lead to destruction.
I've got to remember during this transition that God chose me! I can’t allow myself to get distracted with the whims of society. I’ve got to settle in my soul that I'm special to God. I'm fearfully and wonderfully made! He ordained me for greatness! God is love and that’s where I’m going to find true and complete wholeness, in Him! He ordered my footsteps...and in the fullness of time...His value is going to be seen in me!!!!
posted by Pastor Rich at 12:00 PM
2 Comments:
I feel exactly where you are coming from. I think it is an age thing. I know we are the same age and I feel the same way. It's almost like I'm cleansing my life of all sorts of things and men who aren't for the good is first on my list. Unlike most women who don't have a man or even a piece of a man, I am content. I'm content because I know who ever God has for me is going to be great!!
this is truly where I am in life as well. I can put myself under a microscope all day long and search the world over and within me I can find all fault. But God has promised me that He is going to show me what real love is, so it is in Him that I look for my definition. It gets quite painful and distracting at times but I often turn and say that with all the HELL that I have been through and the years that have gone by do I want to now wait on a sure thing from God or result to what has never materialized in the past. What God has for me is just for me and this means in a mate as well. He knows all the ugliness, insecurities and moods that my mate will have to endure as well as me for him and before I think for one moment that I can "teach" someone all that - I'm straight!!! Now that I don't have time for!!! I don't do it gracefully at times but Longsuffering is becoming a vivid part of me becuase I know God and that means when He moves on those innermost desires of the heart I won't SUFFER LONG!!!! And being that He is in control of all things including time - I don't play the biological game - that is where life and that more abundantly comes into play - we only know fulfillment fromt he one that knows your time is fulfilled.
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