How do I LIVE today?
The question was raised yesterday as to How? How do you just make the decision to LIVE? Thank you for asking the question…first and foremost, this was hard for me at first, so don’t think I don’t feel your pain. Don’t think that when I type, I just type something and that’s it. NO…I don’t type or speak or preach on anything that I haven’t walked out personally. This journey ain’t no joke, but God is gracing me everyday to stand on His word.
In his book, God Has a Dream, Archbishop Desmond Tutu talks about seeing things in life from God’s perspective. This was paramount in my being able to LIVE. It’s easier said than done, believe me, however, I came to a point in my life where I was tired of all the isms and schisms. I was tired of the drama that I allowed to overwhelm me because I was trying to create this “image” of what I thought people expected of me. I don’t know about you, but I got sick and tired of keeping up! I had to realize and accept for myself that God saw me as His child. He doesn’t view me as a servant, or as a slave to Him, He sees me as I am, as His son. As a joint heir with Christ…and until you see yourself, in spite of all that you have done or may be doing right now, you’re still His child. This concept is so foreign because we live in a fallen world. We live in a world where we have to perform to gain acceptance by people…we live in a world where the majority of us never had father’s in the home…and thus, it becomes hard to conceptualize God as Father. He knows everything about me and He yet, still loves me for me.
We really don’t hear that in our churches, synagogues or mosques any longer. We are usually given a set of rules to abide by and told that if we honor God, then we have to honor His rules and if we break His rules, then we run the risk of being kicked out and disinherited. There are some, because of the way the church has presented this, who automatically count themselves out because they don’t see a life past their indiscretions. People don’t see themselves ever being able to reach a place of Holiness to where God will accept them. As a matter of fact, I found myself in the same place. I thought, because I was molested as a little boy, I was disinherited from being able to receive God as Father. I honestly believed that there was no use in trying if I was already disqualified. So, what did I do? I became, what people call a hypocrite. Because, although I thought I was disqualified, I still attended church weekly and “got my praise on!” and went to the altar to ask forgiveness, but I never really received His grace and forgiveness! I went back to my seat and thought to myself, “okay now what?” I figured that I’d just get by day by day until I said to myself…”self, there has to be something more to life than this…is this all there is?” I couldn’t find this place of utopia in sex because eventually the thrill would leave and I couldn’t find it in a high because as wonderful as it was I had to come down to reality. I was tired of wearing a mask; I was tired of being “plastic” for people. I wanted something more and that I found by coming to grips with yesterday as FACT! I can’t change what happened, but in accepting who I was as a child of God, I began the healing process to a better tomorrow.
By accepting myself as His son, I was able to face the person that molested me all those years ago. I was able to not only confront them, but I was able to so something that I never thought I’d be able to do, FORGIVE! (I’ll go more in depth about forgiveness in my next journal)
Today, I’m LIVING because God is my Father. I’m LIVING today because I accepted the fact that I can’t change yesterday. I’m LIVING today because in spite of myself, I’ve experienced the pure unadulterated love from the Father. Will you accept God as your Father? Will you allow Him to love you and embrace you at your greatest point of vulnerability? Will you allow the healing process to begin inside of you and accept your yesterday as fact so you can move on to what God has promised for you? You may ask, “What has He promised me?” I’m glad you asked…He’s promised us…Hope and a Future! I ask you again, will you receive Him today?
ROBIII+
In his book, God Has a Dream, Archbishop Desmond Tutu talks about seeing things in life from God’s perspective. This was paramount in my being able to LIVE. It’s easier said than done, believe me, however, I came to a point in my life where I was tired of all the isms and schisms. I was tired of the drama that I allowed to overwhelm me because I was trying to create this “image” of what I thought people expected of me. I don’t know about you, but I got sick and tired of keeping up! I had to realize and accept for myself that God saw me as His child. He doesn’t view me as a servant, or as a slave to Him, He sees me as I am, as His son. As a joint heir with Christ…and until you see yourself, in spite of all that you have done or may be doing right now, you’re still His child. This concept is so foreign because we live in a fallen world. We live in a world where we have to perform to gain acceptance by people…we live in a world where the majority of us never had father’s in the home…and thus, it becomes hard to conceptualize God as Father. He knows everything about me and He yet, still loves me for me.
We really don’t hear that in our churches, synagogues or mosques any longer. We are usually given a set of rules to abide by and told that if we honor God, then we have to honor His rules and if we break His rules, then we run the risk of being kicked out and disinherited. There are some, because of the way the church has presented this, who automatically count themselves out because they don’t see a life past their indiscretions. People don’t see themselves ever being able to reach a place of Holiness to where God will accept them. As a matter of fact, I found myself in the same place. I thought, because I was molested as a little boy, I was disinherited from being able to receive God as Father. I honestly believed that there was no use in trying if I was already disqualified. So, what did I do? I became, what people call a hypocrite. Because, although I thought I was disqualified, I still attended church weekly and “got my praise on!” and went to the altar to ask forgiveness, but I never really received His grace and forgiveness! I went back to my seat and thought to myself, “okay now what?” I figured that I’d just get by day by day until I said to myself…”self, there has to be something more to life than this…is this all there is?” I couldn’t find this place of utopia in sex because eventually the thrill would leave and I couldn’t find it in a high because as wonderful as it was I had to come down to reality. I was tired of wearing a mask; I was tired of being “plastic” for people. I wanted something more and that I found by coming to grips with yesterday as FACT! I can’t change what happened, but in accepting who I was as a child of God, I began the healing process to a better tomorrow.
By accepting myself as His son, I was able to face the person that molested me all those years ago. I was able to not only confront them, but I was able to so something that I never thought I’d be able to do, FORGIVE! (I’ll go more in depth about forgiveness in my next journal)
Today, I’m LIVING because God is my Father. I’m LIVING today because I accepted the fact that I can’t change yesterday. I’m LIVING today because in spite of myself, I’ve experienced the pure unadulterated love from the Father. Will you accept God as your Father? Will you allow Him to love you and embrace you at your greatest point of vulnerability? Will you allow the healing process to begin inside of you and accept your yesterday as fact so you can move on to what God has promised for you? You may ask, “What has He promised me?” I’m glad you asked…He’s promised us…Hope and a Future! I ask you again, will you receive Him today?
ROBIII+
posted by Pastor Rich at 10:50 AM
1 Comments:
look at that... I'm number 500! Keep up the inspirational words.
Shenikwa
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