The Father loves me...regardless of me
Thank you Anonymous for your comments.
I originally wanted to go in a different direction today; however, some things were said in the comments section that really hit home with a lot of people who read this. So, I do hope I make sense to some, if not all of you who read this today. A lot of people don’t pray because they feel inadequate. I felt this way for a long time in my life. One thing about me is that I truly desire to come before you, those who read this, with authenticity. It’s important that I not candy coat issues that we all experience because there are some of us who are at life and death matters! And for me, I know what I’ve been through and with everything that hits me on a daily basis, I must say that there are days that I don’t want to pray either. I know that sounds strange coming from a Priest doesn’t it? But it’s the honest truth. I go days when I’m trippin’ cuz God didn’t do something that I asked Him to do. It’s funny when I reflect on it because the times that I got upset were when I was asking for something that I wanted to ease my fleshly desires. It wasn’t anything that was going to be for God’s benefit.
To be as bad as I have been in the past, I didn’t think God could forgive me. That’s another reason why I didn’t pray. I mean, c’mon…after ministering to people I would find myself all alone. People would by lying on me making all kinds of false statements of which they knew nothing about and I was expected to say nothing? I was supposed to, as the saints of old would say, keep my eyes on God and let Him fight my battles! Well, that crap didn’t work for me. I wanted to bust a cap up in somebody. After putting myself out on “front” street and reaching out when no one else would…I felt as if God had forsaken me and turned His back on me. I wanted to get even…but in the midst of that, I experienced true authentic love from the Father.
You see God loves us, not because of, but in spite of. In spite of our mess, He loves us and desires for us to commune with Him. I’ve come to find out that praying to God is no different than having a conversation with Him. It’s like it was when my daddy was living. He and I would talk for hours about life and our hearts desires. The relationship that we had didn’t develop overnight. It took time for me to mature to the place where we could discuss and philosophize. The same way it is with God. The more I spend time with Him…through praying and seeing Him in creation, the more I can talk about the thoughts that are going on in my head. The older I get, the more I can look back and see His hand of protection that has covered me. I see now the times that I shoulda’ coulda’ and woulda’ been dead…But God!
This is why I don’t care how others view me. I want to share with as many as I can, the love of Christ! It doesn’t mean that I don’t have days where I don’t want to pray but God understands our feelings. He wants us to dare to uncover our insecurities and the things that have kept us bound so that He can embrace us and bestow upon us the love that He has reserved for us…and only us!
For those who don’t know what to say, just start by telling Him “Thank you!” Thank Him for the blessing of life. Thank Him for health. Thank Him for allowing you to have your right mind! Just thank Him…just show Him appreciation for being God! Sometimes we make things more difficult than they really are meant to be! Take some time today, right now…and just tell Him Thank you! That’s a prayer right there because you’re talking with your Father.
ROBIII+
I originally wanted to go in a different direction today; however, some things were said in the comments section that really hit home with a lot of people who read this. So, I do hope I make sense to some, if not all of you who read this today. A lot of people don’t pray because they feel inadequate. I felt this way for a long time in my life. One thing about me is that I truly desire to come before you, those who read this, with authenticity. It’s important that I not candy coat issues that we all experience because there are some of us who are at life and death matters! And for me, I know what I’ve been through and with everything that hits me on a daily basis, I must say that there are days that I don’t want to pray either. I know that sounds strange coming from a Priest doesn’t it? But it’s the honest truth. I go days when I’m trippin’ cuz God didn’t do something that I asked Him to do. It’s funny when I reflect on it because the times that I got upset were when I was asking for something that I wanted to ease my fleshly desires. It wasn’t anything that was going to be for God’s benefit.
To be as bad as I have been in the past, I didn’t think God could forgive me. That’s another reason why I didn’t pray. I mean, c’mon…after ministering to people I would find myself all alone. People would by lying on me making all kinds of false statements of which they knew nothing about and I was expected to say nothing? I was supposed to, as the saints of old would say, keep my eyes on God and let Him fight my battles! Well, that crap didn’t work for me. I wanted to bust a cap up in somebody. After putting myself out on “front” street and reaching out when no one else would…I felt as if God had forsaken me and turned His back on me. I wanted to get even…but in the midst of that, I experienced true authentic love from the Father.
You see God loves us, not because of, but in spite of. In spite of our mess, He loves us and desires for us to commune with Him. I’ve come to find out that praying to God is no different than having a conversation with Him. It’s like it was when my daddy was living. He and I would talk for hours about life and our hearts desires. The relationship that we had didn’t develop overnight. It took time for me to mature to the place where we could discuss and philosophize. The same way it is with God. The more I spend time with Him…through praying and seeing Him in creation, the more I can talk about the thoughts that are going on in my head. The older I get, the more I can look back and see His hand of protection that has covered me. I see now the times that I shoulda’ coulda’ and woulda’ been dead…But God!
This is why I don’t care how others view me. I want to share with as many as I can, the love of Christ! It doesn’t mean that I don’t have days where I don’t want to pray but God understands our feelings. He wants us to dare to uncover our insecurities and the things that have kept us bound so that He can embrace us and bestow upon us the love that He has reserved for us…and only us!
For those who don’t know what to say, just start by telling Him “Thank you!” Thank Him for the blessing of life. Thank Him for health. Thank Him for allowing you to have your right mind! Just thank Him…just show Him appreciation for being God! Sometimes we make things more difficult than they really are meant to be! Take some time today, right now…and just tell Him Thank you! That’s a prayer right there because you’re talking with your Father.
ROBIII+
posted by Pastor Rich at 12:00 PM
3 Comments:
How true this is Pastor Rich. Thank you for laying this on my heart. Keep up your good work! God Bless, R. Sewell
I feel you on that. But what I most focus on especially at this time in my life is when I pray, I talk to God about the things that I am going through and I thank him for the struggles as well as the triumphs. I find that in communicating with him in those times as well as the good times it deepens the relationship. It brings you closer to knowing who you are so you can move you out of the way and allow Him to operate.
Thank you for your honest words, they have encouraged me. There is not a day that goes by that I don't thank my father in heaven, I can't go long without doing that. Knowing from where he has brought me from, I have no problem with that.
My prayer life up to recently, was a good one (or so I thought). I could spend so much time with my father in heaven, not only in prayer but also in worship. But something has changed. I have changed, or grown shall I say. I am in this cycle where everything and I mean everything is being changed. Not only has my prayer life been effected, but also my social life (which really wasn't one, but I was ok with it). The people that I used to talk with (and these are God fearing people), I no longer talk to anymore. If they call me, or I them there is this awkwardness in the air. I don't know what it is but there is a change in the air and I am in the midst of it.
When I do go to pray, most times I just be quite, I quite my mind, but then I end up in tears. This is strange, all so strange. But I know that God is in control, one thing I do and that is trust him. So whatever may be, I believe God!
And he has plans for me that include a future and a hope.
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