What Changed My Desire?
Today, just like any other day, is a day of uncertainties…what will take place? What will happen? Will this be like yesterday, a day of peace and rest or will today’s events shake my world? Who knows? I’ve been going strong now for a good while, and even with the press...I know that I’ve got to call it what it is. I’m tired. I don’t have time for certain catastrophic events to take place. Hell, if it were my choice, I’d be somewhere on the beach chillin’ for a couple of weeks. But, unfortunately, I can’t do that!
I’ve got a lot of work to do to prepare for my next steps. My next steps where? Not sure, all I know is that I can’t stay stagnant doing nothing. I’ve got to keep moving full speed ahead preparing for my next phase in life. This journey called LYFE throws all kinds of turns and twists and that’s what I have been preparing for. I didn’t think I was prepared for my world to be rocked years ago when I lost my mentor SUDDENLY but boy oh boy it was “shonuff” rocked! I didn’t think I could handle the phone call that came SUDDENLY when my father died and again, my world was shattered SUDDENLY but when I look back on those events I have to admit and confess that I found out how strong I really am.
I’ve come to realize on this journey that my trials and tribulations didn’t break me…they made me. They made me into the man that I am today. NO, I didn’t want the bad times at all, don’t get me wrong, all I’m saying is that if it had not been for the fire that God allowed to come and burn everything around me, I wouldn’t be doing some of the stuff that I do on a daily basis.
Someone asked me a couple weeks ago, “...what changed your desire?”
My desire changed after a process of trials and tribulations. I was one of the hardheaded men who thought I could get away with murder. I was cocky and arrogant and had the attitude that I was God’s gift to the world…forget just women…I had the attitude that I was God’s gift to any and everything that I came in contact with. So, the Lord had to get my attention by allowing all kinds of trials to come my way. Otherwise I don’t know if I would have awakened. It was the trials and the fire that was given access to invade my life that caused my outlook on life to change. It was my inability to believe that I could come out of my sexin’ and kickin’ it times! I’ll be honest; I didn’t want to give that up. I gave everything else up except for sex. I just couldn’t see that part of my life being null and void. Or, another way of looking at it is, I couldn’t see myself abstaining. I didn’t want to know what abstaining was. Keepin’ it real, I didn’t think that I had what it took to live a life free of sex.
Now that I am celibate, it’s amazing that I can look and see a number of people who were just like me…ALL CAUGHT UP not realizing what they keep doing to themselves. You see, it’s more than busting that nutt! (I hope that’s not too vulgar for some of you) Sex is a spiritual thing and those who claim to have no control are really admitting that they are out of alignment with the creator and Father of us ALL. Very few people realize that it is that deep because we just think that we have needs, at least that’s what I used to say when that feeling would hit. “Damn, I need me some, and I can’t go without, so let me find somebody to help me with this problem.” The real deal is that I was looking for what only God could give me and I thought that I could find it between the legs of another woman. And for some of you that read this, it may be another man.
I don’t want you to have to go through the drama that I went through back in the day all because I couldn’t get control over my desires. God had to really come with it to get my attention and THAT HE DID! When God got my attention, I thought that I had hit a brick wall, LITERALLY. When God got my attention, I realized in an instant that getting a nutt wasn’t that serious. When God got my attention, my desire ALL OF A SUDDEN changed because I realized the bigger picture of LYFE. It took all of that for me, and the question is what is it going to take for you? Is something tragic going to have to happen for you to wake up and LIVE, 4 real?
I’ve got a lot of work to do to prepare for my next steps. My next steps where? Not sure, all I know is that I can’t stay stagnant doing nothing. I’ve got to keep moving full speed ahead preparing for my next phase in life. This journey called LYFE throws all kinds of turns and twists and that’s what I have been preparing for. I didn’t think I was prepared for my world to be rocked years ago when I lost my mentor SUDDENLY but boy oh boy it was “shonuff” rocked! I didn’t think I could handle the phone call that came SUDDENLY when my father died and again, my world was shattered SUDDENLY but when I look back on those events I have to admit and confess that I found out how strong I really am.
I’ve come to realize on this journey that my trials and tribulations didn’t break me…they made me. They made me into the man that I am today. NO, I didn’t want the bad times at all, don’t get me wrong, all I’m saying is that if it had not been for the fire that God allowed to come and burn everything around me, I wouldn’t be doing some of the stuff that I do on a daily basis.
Someone asked me a couple weeks ago, “...what changed your desire?”
My desire changed after a process of trials and tribulations. I was one of the hardheaded men who thought I could get away with murder. I was cocky and arrogant and had the attitude that I was God’s gift to the world…forget just women…I had the attitude that I was God’s gift to any and everything that I came in contact with. So, the Lord had to get my attention by allowing all kinds of trials to come my way. Otherwise I don’t know if I would have awakened. It was the trials and the fire that was given access to invade my life that caused my outlook on life to change. It was my inability to believe that I could come out of my sexin’ and kickin’ it times! I’ll be honest; I didn’t want to give that up. I gave everything else up except for sex. I just couldn’t see that part of my life being null and void. Or, another way of looking at it is, I couldn’t see myself abstaining. I didn’t want to know what abstaining was. Keepin’ it real, I didn’t think that I had what it took to live a life free of sex.
Now that I am celibate, it’s amazing that I can look and see a number of people who were just like me…ALL CAUGHT UP not realizing what they keep doing to themselves. You see, it’s more than busting that nutt! (I hope that’s not too vulgar for some of you) Sex is a spiritual thing and those who claim to have no control are really admitting that they are out of alignment with the creator and Father of us ALL. Very few people realize that it is that deep because we just think that we have needs, at least that’s what I used to say when that feeling would hit. “Damn, I need me some, and I can’t go without, so let me find somebody to help me with this problem.” The real deal is that I was looking for what only God could give me and I thought that I could find it between the legs of another woman. And for some of you that read this, it may be another man.
I don’t want you to have to go through the drama that I went through back in the day all because I couldn’t get control over my desires. God had to really come with it to get my attention and THAT HE DID! When God got my attention, I thought that I had hit a brick wall, LITERALLY. When God got my attention, I realized in an instant that getting a nutt wasn’t that serious. When God got my attention, my desire ALL OF A SUDDEN changed because I realized the bigger picture of LYFE. It took all of that for me, and the question is what is it going to take for you? Is something tragic going to have to happen for you to wake up and LIVE, 4 real?
posted by Pastor Rich at 9:30 AM
2 Comments:
I read your column on EURweb as well and I truly enjoy everything you have to say..Your insight seems like something I know all to well..I'll continue to read your blog and your column becasue you seem to say what I need to hear or read.. I don't think it's by chance....
Pjharper
Thank you PJ
Pastor Rich
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