How Far I've Come

A year ago this time I was fussin and complaining to God and any and everyone else because my godson was being deployed to Iraq. I can't even begin to explain how much I asked God to change up course and leave Tavon here in the United States...But to no avail, he left in January.

I had to learn how to trust God COMPLETELY. It's amazing how much we say we trust God but when faced with a challenging circumstance we tend to lean on our own understanding and disengage from contacting the Lord. Yet again, I found myself in this circumstance. Throughout 2005 I had to learn how to walk on my own two feet and not run to other close associates, friends, prayer partners, etc. 2005 has been a year where most of the people who I didn't think I could live without separated from me. Is this a bad thing? NO, absolutely not...Some may think so, but in the final analysis I can't help but grab the saying..."If it don't kill you, it'll make you stronger!"

This is exactly what has taken place in my life this year...I've become a stronger person and have NO one to take credit for this but the Lord! My inner circle from last year is no longer my inner circle as I prepare myself for 2006. Did it hurt? Yes, this year I experienced more pain from my inner circle than I thought I'd ever have to endure but the good thing about it is that I SURVIVED! I made it. I didn't allow the people I come in contact with to push me away from following through on what I was supposed to do. I didn't let the pain of people lying on me turn me around...As a matter of fact, I become even more determined to finish the "race."

Get this, I complained, cried, tripped out at Tavon's departure...Every time a report came across the television screen during the first few months, I'd become all nervous because a friend of mine in California lost one of his kids and found out from a report on TV. So, you know I was kinda sick to my stomach everytime the media would report another soldiers death. But as time went on...I didn't even pay the reports a second glance because I started to believe for myself that Tavon was going to be alright!

Well, Tavon called me from Indiana just a few minutes ago and he's going to be here in Toledo with me in about 24 hours...FOR GOOD! He's done with his service and ready to continue his matriculation at Morehouse College (my alma mater) prayerfully in January of 2006!

God didn't answer me the way I wanted Him too but He was faithful in bringing Tavon home safe and sound. In addition to bringing Tavon home, He made me a stronger individual throughout this entire year-long process! I can honestly say I'm not the same person leaving 2005 as I was when I entered. I give God (no one else) all honor, glory, and praise for how far I've come!