Better Days Are Ahead
It’s the best of times and yet the worst of times…I feel good and feel bad all at the same time. I’m not sure why I am feeling this way, but what do you do? What am I going to do, kick and scream because I feel so much anxiety or just learn to take it in stride? Things are happening in my life at such a fast pace, I feel like I’ve made so much progress but then when I look at my current situation, I see that I have a lot of work to do. I don’t know, but, as I was saying last week, there’s got to be something greater than this! Life is to be LIVED! So, I gotta keep moving on…as rough as it may appear to be, I’ve got to keep forever in my mind that good things come to those who wait. I’m living in this NOW generation, where we want everything and I do mean everything NOW! I’ve got to be patient and understand that better days are ahead! I’ve got to bust through my paradigm and realize that I’m a lot better off than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I’ve doing things now that I’ve never done before. Things that used to scare me don’t even bother me anymore…I’ve cut off the people that were no good for me so why am I trippin’? Why do I feel good and bad at the same time? Why am I so joyful but yet feel sorrowful…what’s up with that? I don’t know, maybe I’m the only one that thinks like that in the world, but dangit,’ I just need some answers to some of the fundamental questions of life…that’s all. This is the stuff that most preachers don’t talk about…we give the good sermons…but most of us don’t say nothin’ worth anything past Sunday. It’s nothing that the majority of the church can live off of for Monday. I need someone to help me answer some of the puzzling questions of life…questions like, what do you do when you don’t know what to do?
Thank you for asking the question because while I don’t have an answer, I do have an answer…I, myself, have lived through this question and still yet today am perplexed because this question resounds in my ears to this day. “What do you do when you don’t know what to do?” I wait and use the time to get some rest. Because I look at it like this, if I’m tired and worn out, how can I be any good when I do get my next set of instructions? We don’t look at things like this, but we have to begin seeing life as a battlefield. I don’t know if you know this, but WE ARE IN WAR! Good versus evil…but we have a snapshot that the end is victorious for those who are on my team! In war, after talking with a few people who’ve actually been to Iraq, one soldier told me that the entire time is one big question after another. He explained that you live each day not knowing if it’s going to be your last but having to stay alert. You live each day ON HIGH ALERT and while you rejoice when you’re victorious, you can’t lose yourself in the one victory because the enemy could be right at the next corner, camouflaged for a surprise attack. He said that you have a tendency to feel good but yet bad at the same time, because you’re in a 24 hour state of emergency…every minute of the day is spent having to be watching your next step because any moment could be your last!
I see a vision of me walking down a dark corridor…knowing that God is ever present, but I can’t help but wonder if He forgot that I was waiting on His next charge! I don’t know if anyone understands what I’m feeling right at this moment…but there is something that I’m in pursuit of and it has to be better than what I’m experiencing now! I’m at a place that I want to cry out, “my God, my God, why have you left me? Or if you haven’t left me why the hell are you silent?” Why is the big question? Why, when I know that You are there do You remain silent when I feel I need you the most?” I know that the things that have happened to me have happened for the further enhance the Gospel…but I mean, hell! When is He going to manifest and show up in the midst of the trouble? He can’t leave me this way! I’ve come through way too much to turn back…and I know that there’s something great on the way. My prayer is at this point on the journey, Lord, keep me focused…I know the plan of the enemy is to use those I’m close to discourage me. I know the plan of the enemy is to make me look at my situation and the situation of those I love through his small eyes…but I know that something greater has been prophesied…something greater has been predestined. Yes, I’m discouraged about the state of the youth in the world…yes, I’m dismayed at their present condition, but I know God! I didn’t go through all the stuff I just went through to get to this point and say I quit! I’m not a quitter! I’m more than a conqueror!
I’m not going to give up now…but it’s hard! That’s why my inner circle has got to be tight! My inner circle has to consist of those who can challenge me in the midst of what I’m going through to push through the veil and see God! I received some blows in the past few weeks that could have taken the average person out…but that’s why God conditioned me in the hallway of adversity…that’s why God commissioned the enemy to take me through boot camp because He knew that I already had it in me to be a survivor…but I had to find out for myself that I’m a survivor and I don’t have to just take anything!
No matter what…I understand that I’m here for more than just me. I’m not here because my dad met my mom and conceived me. I’m here because God orchestrated my existence for such a time as this…and He did the same for you because He is no respect of person! So, with that said, I end by saying although it looks tight right now…BETTER DAYS ARE AHEAD!
Thank you for asking the question because while I don’t have an answer, I do have an answer…I, myself, have lived through this question and still yet today am perplexed because this question resounds in my ears to this day. “What do you do when you don’t know what to do?” I wait and use the time to get some rest. Because I look at it like this, if I’m tired and worn out, how can I be any good when I do get my next set of instructions? We don’t look at things like this, but we have to begin seeing life as a battlefield. I don’t know if you know this, but WE ARE IN WAR! Good versus evil…but we have a snapshot that the end is victorious for those who are on my team! In war, after talking with a few people who’ve actually been to Iraq, one soldier told me that the entire time is one big question after another. He explained that you live each day not knowing if it’s going to be your last but having to stay alert. You live each day ON HIGH ALERT and while you rejoice when you’re victorious, you can’t lose yourself in the one victory because the enemy could be right at the next corner, camouflaged for a surprise attack. He said that you have a tendency to feel good but yet bad at the same time, because you’re in a 24 hour state of emergency…every minute of the day is spent having to be watching your next step because any moment could be your last!
I see a vision of me walking down a dark corridor…knowing that God is ever present, but I can’t help but wonder if He forgot that I was waiting on His next charge! I don’t know if anyone understands what I’m feeling right at this moment…but there is something that I’m in pursuit of and it has to be better than what I’m experiencing now! I’m at a place that I want to cry out, “my God, my God, why have you left me? Or if you haven’t left me why the hell are you silent?” Why is the big question? Why, when I know that You are there do You remain silent when I feel I need you the most?” I know that the things that have happened to me have happened for the further enhance the Gospel…but I mean, hell! When is He going to manifest and show up in the midst of the trouble? He can’t leave me this way! I’ve come through way too much to turn back…and I know that there’s something great on the way. My prayer is at this point on the journey, Lord, keep me focused…I know the plan of the enemy is to use those I’m close to discourage me. I know the plan of the enemy is to make me look at my situation and the situation of those I love through his small eyes…but I know that something greater has been prophesied…something greater has been predestined. Yes, I’m discouraged about the state of the youth in the world…yes, I’m dismayed at their present condition, but I know God! I didn’t go through all the stuff I just went through to get to this point and say I quit! I’m not a quitter! I’m more than a conqueror!
I’m not going to give up now…but it’s hard! That’s why my inner circle has got to be tight! My inner circle has to consist of those who can challenge me in the midst of what I’m going through to push through the veil and see God! I received some blows in the past few weeks that could have taken the average person out…but that’s why God conditioned me in the hallway of adversity…that’s why God commissioned the enemy to take me through boot camp because He knew that I already had it in me to be a survivor…but I had to find out for myself that I’m a survivor and I don’t have to just take anything!
No matter what…I understand that I’m here for more than just me. I’m not here because my dad met my mom and conceived me. I’m here because God orchestrated my existence for such a time as this…and He did the same for you because He is no respect of person! So, with that said, I end by saying although it looks tight right now…BETTER DAYS ARE AHEAD!
posted by Pastor Rich at 1:15 PM
1 Comments:
Who knows if you even read these responses but I guess I will just put it out there. This particular one caught me right at a time when it appears that we were having some of the same questions - yet it has become impossible for me to sugar-caot myself with the same old answers - what about when you do feel that God has forsaken you and that He doesn't have anything to say to you, what about when you see the world going on around you but you cannot figure where you fit or if you do at all? What about when time after time, day after day you try to tell yourself that you matter but there is no physical evidence of that becuase you get no further than half step you ahve taken time and time again. What is it when you find yourself so deep in depression time and time again (some times are just easier to cover than others) but there is no one to take you seriously in the church, and to seek counseling in the world makes you feel so guilty about NOT TRUSTING GOD? What is it when there is those few things that you can't seem to beat and stay in victory. Let me explain, I know about staying in the Word, praying and fasting, worshipping, etc. but no more than any other relationship has materialized positively in your life you can't seem to stay devoted to your relationship with the Lord. Often feeling totatlly inadequate because at least in people pleasing you DIE trying to live up to their expectations and becuase you can NEVER DO THAT then this has to be why I keep failing at my realtionship with God - how can you be in a relationship when you don't know how to relate? Having absolutely NOTHING to base it on because. Relationship goes both ways and when you constantly hear tht He is just waiting on you, just say yes, etc etc. I know He is there but what if you are one of those people that He is sick and tired of - because no matter what you can't get it right, won't keep it right when you do get a break through. going through the motions (which that is not what it feels like at times but when you end up back in this depressed state you question everything that you have felt, exprienced etc.)even gets redundant and you even question is this really it, is God proud of me, does He want to bless me, will my life change to where I am finally out of this trap - fo lack of a better word.
Even now, what is all the writing for?
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