Push Through
Life has its ups and downs I know this quite well. As a matter of fact, right now I’d say that I’m going through a “down.” For those of you who have been keeping track of my blogs, many of you may notice how short they’ve become. That’s because I’ve been at the brink of giving up. It gets hard to STAND during certain periods of life and at times like this there are few words that one can say. I don’t even want to write this today BUT I received word that there are quite a few people who actually give a care and really rely on some of the things I say. It’s quite humbling and encouraging because some days… For those of you who have emailed me, thanks! You will never know what that has meant to me, especially during this trying time.
Someone might ask, why is it so trying? Well, my response is because although I may look like success, have a good job, have a quality education, be in good health and have a wonderful family, I still deal with feelings of being ineffective. While going through the motions of the day, the question in the back of my mind is “does anything that I’m doing now really matter?” It all goes back to the question that I wrote about a few months ago that I ask myself every morning, “when I die, will it matter that I was even born?” This is the driving force behind the “man,” Richard. This is what goes through my mind on a daily basis and if I don’t feel like I’m doing enough I begin to withdraw to see if there are other ways that I can be more effective in life.
Young people are my passion and yet I’m growing to a point that I don’t allow the passion to consume me to the point where I don’t know enjoy myself. I haven’t been this way always…there used to be times from sun-up to sun-down my only agenda was how I could make life better for others, especially young people. Now, I understand the importance of seeing the bigger picture. As much as I love everybody, the best way to help others is to make sure that I’m getting what I need in order to be the best ME that I can be. To do this, I have to push through the drama and the feelings of ineptitude. I have to push through the extra-curricular and see the way God sees! See that there is greatness on the inside of my being and if I’m patient (and this is exactly what I have to pray for, patience) and I hold my peace, I’ll see exactly what God has promised manifest!
Someone might ask, why is it so trying? Well, my response is because although I may look like success, have a good job, have a quality education, be in good health and have a wonderful family, I still deal with feelings of being ineffective. While going through the motions of the day, the question in the back of my mind is “does anything that I’m doing now really matter?” It all goes back to the question that I wrote about a few months ago that I ask myself every morning, “when I die, will it matter that I was even born?” This is the driving force behind the “man,” Richard. This is what goes through my mind on a daily basis and if I don’t feel like I’m doing enough I begin to withdraw to see if there are other ways that I can be more effective in life.
Young people are my passion and yet I’m growing to a point that I don’t allow the passion to consume me to the point where I don’t know enjoy myself. I haven’t been this way always…there used to be times from sun-up to sun-down my only agenda was how I could make life better for others, especially young people. Now, I understand the importance of seeing the bigger picture. As much as I love everybody, the best way to help others is to make sure that I’m getting what I need in order to be the best ME that I can be. To do this, I have to push through the drama and the feelings of ineptitude. I have to push through the extra-curricular and see the way God sees! See that there is greatness on the inside of my being and if I’m patient (and this is exactly what I have to pray for, patience) and I hold my peace, I’ll see exactly what God has promised manifest!
I said all this in order to encourage you to hold your peace in spite of what things may appear to look like. Hold out and trust God to open up a way where there is NO way! He’ll do this and then some…but you have to believe it. It’s according to your belief so push through the drama and know that He that has begun a good work is faithful to complete it!
posted by Pastor Rich at 2:25 PM
4 Comments:
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU EVEN GET TO WHERE YOU ARE AND YOU DON'T EVEN FEEL THAT YOU HAVE ANY PUSH LEFT? WHEN YOU FEEL THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PUSHING ALL OF YOUR LIFE AND THE ONLY THING THAT SEEMS TO BE NOTICEABLE THAT YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO GIVE UP! DO YOU EVER GET TO THIS POINT? REALLY? wHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU FEEL THAT WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN PUSHING FOR GOD HAS BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU IT AIN'T GOING TO HAPPEN AND YOU KEEP MISSING THE MESSAGE? DOWN IS WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW BUT NOT OUT! I CAN'T OR BETTER PUT I WON'T GIVE UP BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO BIRTH THIS THING AND EVEN WHEN YOU ARE TIRED OF PUSHING IN LABOR - YOU AT LEAST CAN GET AN EPIDERAL OR EVEN A C- SECTION TO STILL BRING FORTH THAT WHAT IS INSIDE OF YOU DESPEARTE TO HAVE LIFE? IT IS REALLY HARD TO KEEP PUSHING WHEN YOU HAVE NO ONE RIGHT THERE WITH YOU ENCOURAGING YOU TO KEEP TRYING AND IS JUST AS EXCITED FOR THE NEW BIRTH. HAVING GONE THROUGH THE PHYSICAL BIRTHING PROCESS ALONE THREE TIMES IT IS COLD AND LONELY AND VERY PAINFUL. BUT I GUESS I DESERVED IT IF IT WAS THREE TIMES. I KNOW THAT BEING SO DESPERATE TO BELIEVE NOT EVERY PERSON IS LYING TO YOU AND HANGING ON THE WORDS THAT WHAT SOMEONE ELSE IS SAYING THEY MEAN IT CAN CREATE UNDUE TURMOIL. YET, I CONTINUE TO PUSH - FOR WHAT? BECAUSE I STILL FEEL PREGNANT, I STILL HURT, FEEL WEAK, FEEL SICK IN THE MORNING, UNCOMFORTABLE AT NIGHT AND DESIRE TO SEE NEW THINGS LIVE. MY SPIRIT WON'T LET ME STOP PUSHING BUT MY PHYSICAL MAN IS BEAT DOWN - ALL PUSHED OUT. PUSH YOU SAY - SOMETIMES IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE THERE TO SAY THAT AND ACTUALLY COACH YOU THROUGH IT OR BETTER YET - CAN'T SOMEONE JUST ORDER ME A C-SECTION!!!!!!! I GUESS GOD DON'T DO THOSE?
PUSHING WITHIN - TO NOT PULL-OUT!!!
the anonymous writer before me raised some real key issues that have run thru my mind as well. One that I would like to highlight is running when you don't even feel it on the inside in the same way anymore but still moving forward, almost aimlessly, just because you know it's the right thing to do, I THINK! I know exactly what they are going thru. Pastor Rich, thank you for setting up this site. This has helped me more than you'll ever know. Have you ever thought about taking this site to the next level? Or even doing radio? There are others who could seriously benefit from a transparent person, such as yourself, stating the "real deal" over the airwaves. Well, anyway, thanks and God Bless and keep the blogs coming! Be encouraged...don't get discouraged!
Always remember the cliche, it's not about the destination, but the journey. That includes ups and downs and everything else in between. It's all good to turn the page to a new chapter, just don't close the book. Good luck!
Your blog really blessed me today...you'll never know how much. Thanks for your sacrifice, you don't know this but you inspire me to write, AND I HATE WRITING!!! It has always been prophesied that i would, but writing never really did anything for me, you've taught me a lot about youth ministry as well, as long as i live i'll never forget the importance of being transparent. If you LEAVE THIS EARTH TONIGHT, you, sir have made a diffrence in my life, and i haven't even known you that long. I have a lot of respect for you, and i say that as a sister would say to her older brother.
CP
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