The Father loves me...regardless of me

Thank you Anonymous for your comments.

I originally wanted to go in a different direction today; however, some things were said in the comments section that really hit home with a lot of people who read this. So, I do hope I make sense to some, if not all of you who read this today. A lot of people don’t pray because they feel inadequate. I felt this way for a long time in my life. One thing about me is that I truly desire to come before you, those who read this, with authenticity. It’s important that I not candy coat issues that we all experience because there are some of us who are at life and death matters! And for me, I know what I’ve been through and with everything that hits me on a daily basis, I must say that there are days that I don’t want to pray either. I know that sounds strange coming from a Priest doesn’t it? But it’s the honest truth. I go days when I’m trippin’ cuz God didn’t do something that I asked Him to do. It’s funny when I reflect on it because the times that I got upset were when I was asking for something that I wanted to ease my fleshly desires. It wasn’t anything that was going to be for God’s benefit.

To be as bad as I have been in the past, I didn’t think God could forgive me. That’s another reason why I didn’t pray. I mean, c’mon…after ministering to people I would find myself all alone. People would by lying on me making all kinds of false statements of which they knew nothing about and I was expected to say nothing? I was supposed to, as the saints of old would say, keep my eyes on God and let Him fight my battles! Well, that crap didn’t work for me. I wanted to bust a cap up in somebody. After putting myself out on “front” street and reaching out when no one else would…I felt as if God had forsaken me and turned His back on me. I wanted to get even…but in the midst of that, I experienced true authentic love from the Father.

You see God loves us, not because of, but in spite of. In spite of our mess, He loves us and desires for us to commune with Him. I’ve come to find out that praying to God is no different than having a conversation with Him. It’s like it was when my daddy was living. He and I would talk for hours about life and our hearts desires. The relationship that we had didn’t develop overnight. It took time for me to mature to the place where we could discuss and philosophize. The same way it is with God. The more I spend time with Him…through praying and seeing Him in creation, the more I can talk about the thoughts that are going on in my head. The older I get, the more I can look back and see His hand of protection that has covered me. I see now the times that I shoulda’ coulda’ and woulda’ been dead…But God!

This is why I don’t care how others view me. I want to share with as many as I can, the love of Christ! It doesn’t mean that I don’t have days where I don’t want to pray but God understands our feelings. He wants us to dare to uncover our insecurities and the things that have kept us bound so that He can embrace us and bestow upon us the love that He has reserved for us…and only us!

For those who don’t know what to say, just start by telling Him “Thank you!” Thank Him for the blessing of life. Thank Him for health. Thank Him for allowing you to have your right mind! Just thank Him…just show Him appreciation for being God! Sometimes we make things more difficult than they really are meant to be! Take some time today, right now…and just tell Him Thank you! That’s a prayer right there because you’re talking with your Father.

ROBIII+

What Do You Pray For?

When things are going great...why is it that I feel I don't need the Lord? As much as I've been through, you would think that I would get the point that I need the Lord everyday of my life. We take so much for granted, especially when things are going good. However, when things turn for the worst, we want to have a prayer vigil. We want everyone to get real serious regarding our sour situation. We want to put all the stops out!

I need God to get out of the bed. I need Him to brush my teeth and put my clothes on. I need Him to breathe, I need Him for any and everything that I can think of right now...and there is not ever a time that I won't need Him. But, in our earthly mindset, I can't help but think of television shows and the only time you see them praying is when someone is at the point of death on the show and you see someone go into the chapel at the local hospital. If you think about it, that's the only time when they mention that there is a God. At the time of sickness which may lead to death.

This is the same thing we do...well, let me make it personal, it's what I do and I've got to do better. I can't just pray when I'm in trouble. I've got to stay before the Lord when things are good as well. I'm reminded of the time that I prayed and prayed and prayed to the Lord for a particular blessing. I was at every church service and I was at prayer all the time. If my friends would call me and ask me to do something, I'd tell them NO, I gotta go to church! :) But, when God blessed me with what I had been praying for, then, I changed. That earnest seek was gone. I didnt' pray as much...I couldn't quite make it to biblestudy in the middle of the week. I wouldn't do both services on Sundays, I'd pick one to attend. OH, get this...when I was seeking the Lord for the answer, I got real real spiritual too. All I listened to in the car was gospel music. lol All I had time to listen to were preaching cd's...if someone got in the car and put on the radio, if it wasn't gospel, then I didn't have time for it. But when I got what I wanted from the Lord, I didn't keep the same aggressive approach with the Lord.

Today I thank Him for Grace. Because I've been one selfish "mutha" down through the years! I've come to the realization that it's been all about me! My prayers have been, Lord, I want...Lord, I need...NOW! Lord, I've got to have...In Jesus' name, Amen.

As I reflect, it makes me wonder why He would put up with my crazy self as foolish as I've been. I'd act one way in front of the crowd and more specifically in front of church folk and then another way after I received my blessing! In His Divinity, He doesn't have to be patient with my Humanity, but He is, and for that I'm grateful.

I need the Lord and can no longer afford to just come to Him when I need something. I need to spend time with Him, just for who He is! He is God, the Creator, my Healer, my Deliverer, my Savior! And I today, proclaim that my desire is to be like David when he wrote in the Psalms, "As the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs after Thee."

The Prayer that Jesus taught the Disciples to pray is not selfish. As a matter of fact, in the prayer, it says nothing about praying for any of MY personal needs. Let's take a look at it.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil for thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory, forever, Amen.

This prayer starts with God and ends with God. Hmmmm...I ask you, what have you been praying for?

It's Time to Change Course

This entire week has been a week where I’ve been stretched beyond anything that I could ever imagine. Beginning with Sunday, I have to say, the word that I received from the Lord was for me. However, the one thing that I did know, just didn’t expect it to manifest so quickly, was the testing of the word. It’s one thing to hear a word from the Lord, but it’s another to receive it. It’s like receiving a gift that you physically have to take home and open up. Once you open up the gift, you have to figure out how the gift will become part of the makeup of the home, or how it will be added to your wardrobe, etc.

Well that’s what happened on Sunday. I received a word from the Lord that I needed to adhere to. This is the difficult part for me because I’m such a giving person. I give until it hurts because I want to see people blessed, well, at least I thought that I was blessing, but, in actuality, I came to see that I was enabling a lot of people from really finding Christ! I don’t know if it is a self-esteem issue I have or if it’s my heart that feels for those who didn’t have what I had growing up, but I have allowed myself to be used by people time and time again. Now I see that I have to change course and shift how I operate. I can’t give every time someone calls for a handout. This is difficult because sometimes in life, the necessary has to occur. If it doesn’t then the person that I’m trying to help may never get themselves together because they’ll always think that I’m going to be there as a rug to walk on!

NO MORE! As hard as it is, it’s a matter of survival. I have to cut people off who have been sucking the very life out of me. It’s a matter of survival. I’ve got greatness ahead of me, but if I continue to stay in the shallow with people who don’t want to go anywhere, then I’ll forsake my destiny and remain in agony!

In time, they’ll understand and I believe they’ll appreciate me the more for my stance, but in the interim, I’ll be praying for them. It’s a matter of survival. I can’t go around constantly worrying about people. I’ve learned a valuable lesson over the past few months and I don’t need any more lessons regarding this. I have to learn how to say NO. I’ve got to learn how to say it and then I also have to understand that it’s okay for people to be upset with me. They’ll learn through their frustration that they need to change course! If not, they’ll just sit on the sidelines and watch others walk in what they should have been walking in themselves.

It all boils down to the question of whether I really trust God to save this generation. It kind of makes you think sometimes…we say a lot but our actions speak louder. I am walking away from this experience, not bitter, but better! I still have a desire to serve and I’ll always have love, but my motto for the year is “think smarter, don’t work harder!”

It’s time I started practicing this motto in my daily life! What about you?

No Pain No Gain

My pain isn’t your pain…but one thing is for sure…in this life…there WILL BE PAIN! As I’m traveling along this journey, I’ve had many ups and downs…and the funny thing is I remember the people who are there for the ups! I can always count on someone when things are going great! Right after I’ve experienced a great big victory…that’s when the crowd is applauding and I feel as if I’m on top of the world. But the question is…how many will be there…when I’m in travail? That’s a very lonely place to be. I experienced something that I’ve never experienced before – the birth of a child (visually). And I can’t help but reflect and remember when the announcement rang forth months ago that a child was going to be born. I remember the excitement that I felt in my spirit because of new life…it was symbolic of God’s favor and rich blessings. I also remember thinking about the process to be birthed and how it was done in secret. You see, you don’t need a lot of people around to get pregnant; it’s usually done in hiding, however, you can see along the process the baby growing because the stomach enlarges. I’m remember seeing the mother progress at the end of the first trimester and begin to complain that she had to go and purchase new clothing because what she had worn up until then had become to small to carry what God had placed inside of her. I go on and remember even how she began to waddle, as she would walk because of the weight of the baby although she was elated at being pregnant, her body was now going through changes in preparation to give birth to this promised child.

As much as she would explain what she was going through on the inside…the experience was hers and hers alone to bear. I couldn’t take the pain away…not even her husband could understand what she was going through, but we still looked forward to the day of the birth! I can’t help but remember the times being on the phone and hearing her mention how the “thing” inside of her was moving this way or moving that way…and how uncomfortable it was having something move on the inside…I kept hearing her speak of the physical…but I took it a step further and thought about what God had placed inside of me and how the analogy was so close because of the fits of rage I was experiencing having to carry something that God had ordained for me to birth into the world.

When the child was born, I remember walking into the hospital room expecting the baby to have already been born, instead, I wasn’t prepared for what happened next! I walked into something that I won’t forget for the rest of my life. I walked into a room that was in HIGH ALERT! The baby wasn’t born yet…so everyone was waiting around in expectation because they knew that the birth was AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT! I asked myself, “Why in the hell was I there if the baby wasn’t born yet?” And God, as always, had a response. He told me that I needed to hear the mother travail and bring forth the child for myself. If you’ve never experienced it, believe me, you need too because your life will never be the same! As much as we were coaching her along…we couldn’t experience the opening up of her body to make way for the promise to come forth! All I could hear were her undying screams for help! All I could think about was…”what could I do to ease the pain?” I thought to myself, that there had to be something that I could do because the pain seemed so severe…but the Lord began to show me…that it costs to carry a promise! And as much as we, her friends and family cheered her on when the announcement came that she was pregnant. We couldn’t step in and take away the pain! Something else I discovered as I asked the other women who were in the room with me, everybody’s experiences are different!

I said all that to say this…whatever happens…whatever happens…and I do mean whatever…I have to know that I’m anointed for the occasion. Because as much as she cried for help, as much as she wanted to give up and throw in the towel, as I left the hospital room I noticed a glow about her as she held her child in her arms! Didn’t say she wasn’t tired or that she wasn’t weary, but she had a joy that came AFTER much pain. However, it didn’t seem to matter to her anymore because she was holding her promise from God!

In this season of transition…I know it may be painful and you may want to give up, I know I did, just yesterday…but don't forget that the promise is on the other side of the pain! So make this declaration with me...Whatever Happens to me, I’m anointed for the occasion!

Let the Necessary Occur

Sometimes in life, we’re quick to complain about what’s not going right. We’re quick to always blame others for the things that happen to us. The Apostle Paul, in the book of Philippians, said, “the things that happened to me, came about to advance the gospel.”

It’s amazing; I don’t think we get what Paul said in the text. Paul was commissioned to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. He was in prison, after being obedient to God. Do you get that? Let me say it again, God gave him an assignment and through his obedience to his assignment, he found himself in prison. First, let me ask you, how many of us would even be in the mood to write a group of people to encourage them after the encouragement landed you in prison? I have to be honest, I really would have to reflect and wonder. However, in this scripture, Paul is not inundated with his present circumstance, but he’s persuaded that he’s going to be encourage regardless of him being locked up or not.

It causes me to think of my godson that is stationed in Iraq. He wrote the young people at the church I serve at and it reminded me of the words that Paul said. His name is Tavon and in the midst of all that he’s going through in Iraq. He found time to encourage his young people. How many of us could encourage somebody in the midst of the hell that we’re faced with? Or would we spend our time screaming, hollering, and complaining as to why we shouldn’t be going through what we’re going through? WE TAKE SO MUCH FOR GRANTED!!! Life is precious and we have to, as I said in an earlier blog, MAKE EACH DAY COUNT! We’re not promised tomorrow, we have to make sure we help others along this journey called life.


Hello my young warriors!!!!

Let me start off by saying that on my journey I've learned one thing for sure!!!! You ain't felt heat until you've been to IRAQ!!!!!! I'm sweating like a true HEBREW SLAVE. It's hot like fish grease and that's no joke. If I were to tell you that up to this point everything is all right, I would be lying. In the past month I have lost two people important in my life, my Uncle, and someone from my unit in an explosion. On top of that, I’m surrounded by people who completely have no clue as to what their purpose in life is. It's very difficult to witness to people on who is TRULY in control. There have been times where I have wanted to throw in the towel, but the Grace & Mercy of God is more powerful than we can ever imagine, and in this time of struggle and frustration I have come to the conclusion that now is the time where God is testing my faith. What am I going to do now that The HEAT is on??? Who will I turn to now that my family can't comfort me when I cry? At this time, I have no one to lean on but Christ and I truly have to trust his positioning AND timing on this adventure...I must say this is not easy!!!!!
I knew this going in but at the same time I didn't know what to expect. Now, when the enemy thinks he's got me and when people think that I have nothing left, I have to stand up and declare that I'm here to fight!!!! I'm not going out that easy!!!! I can't give up!!! I tell people here in Iraq everyday, my youths' future depends on this journey. I'm a leader and I believe in what God is doing and I know He did not bring me this far to leave me now!!!! This is war and in order to win this thing you've got to know that you will, as the bible says, endure hardships...trials...and many tribulations...in laymen’s terms...you will sweat, bleed, cry, get frustrated, and be drained in every way possible of your body's energy, but, ask yourself who do you know? (I KNOW THE LORD JESUS CHRIST) What weapon do you have to fight with? (I got the most important weapon there is, the Word of God!)
To all my foot soldiers out there...I can't be more serious than I am right now...Stay alert...Stay alive cuz the battle is on and it’s hot out here!!!
Fighting for the generations yet to be born,
Sgt. Tavon Patterson

This was hard to read in front of the church because it got so real to me. The fact that one of my kids was in a place of danger and I couldn't do one thing to help...but pray! How many situations have you tried to keep from taking place that you knew had to occur? I'm guilty...time and time again, I'm one that will rescue any and everybody from pain and suffering if I can but this is one thing I can't touch...and I felt helpless! But I came to the realization yesterday that I had to let the necessary occur so that God's glory could be revealed. It's easier said than done, but God is helping me along this journey. I’ve come to a place in my life and I proclaim today that WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME, I KNOW THAT I’M ANOINTED FOR THE OCCASION!!!

Not In Vain

As you know, I’m someone that will admit quite frankly that I still have struggles. If you don’t know, you better ask somebody. Why I say that is, “whom would I be trying to fool?” Why would I want to perpetrate as if I’m all “good” when I feel all types of tension? Why not be honest and transparent and ask for help? Oh yeah, I forgot. We like to waste our time trying to impress people who don’t like us! I’m sick of that! I’m the son of a preacher man and all of my life I had to be the best son! I had to do everything correct. I was the one that was expected to give the speech in front of the church on Easter. I was the one that had to pass my classes with A’s and B’s. Because I was Pastor Brown’s son it was expected of me to be the leader…even though there was all kinds of deranged thoughts going on in my head! Sometimes we really need to think about the pressure that we place on our young people. They deal with a lot whether we want to admit it or not! Whether you ever confess your “mess” or not young people already know you have a story, it’s just a matter of whether you’re comfortable enough to reveal it in hopes that it may help someone.

People ask me all the time why I’m so upfront about the many different issues that I’ve gone through and my response is “to help somebody!” Whether it is an adult or child, at the end of the day they are looking for someone who is going to be genuine and authentic. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of people who hide behind masks as if they’ve got it all together. Even I have to admit that I used to wear a mask…but NO MORE! I’ve played games long enough…I’m tired of the games and the hype. I need someone to connect to who can “feel” my pain and can help sort out the mess that I’ve made in life.

I don’t know where I’d be if it had not been for a man named “Michael.” He was my mentor and he gave unselfishly of himself. Michael was a young man who had a family but he always had time to take my phone call. He would call me daily to check up on me. He would get aggressive with me when I grew distant which is easy to do when someone makes you deal with the “YOU” you don’t want to face inside. If I could tell anyone my story, I could tell Michael. Michael didn’t turn his nose up at me when I told him some of the dark secrets of my past; he embraced me and told me that everything was going to be okay…he loved me through my pain! He walked WITH me, he didn’t walk in front of me or above me…he was my covenant brother. Michael died at the young age of 28 from a heart attack and left behind a wife and three kids. Because of his unselfish sacrifice of love, I can’t help but think of where I am today and pay respect to him for being who God ordained him to be in my life. Michael’s life, although he’s gone, was not in vain because I’m here!

Honestly, there were days that I wanted to give up…as a matter of fact; I still have those days every now and then. But there is no way in hell I can throw in the towel now because I know that there is a greater purpose for my life! It’s the reason I get up in the morning…to help somebody! I don’t know whom but, as the songwriter said, “If I can help somebody…then my living will not be in vain!”

Make Life Count

Today I have to take “it” slow! I can’t be in a rush. I have to allow myself time to breathe and assess what took place yesterday. I don’t want to go through life in a high-speed chase and not be able to enjoy it! I believe that’s the tragedy of life that so many people are faced with. They live to accomplish…to graduate from the best schools…to marry the finest…live the most lavish…drive the hummer…travel and see the greatest attractions…and for what? What does it mean to do all of these things if you’re not at peace on the inside? The more and more I come in contact with people who are “successful” in the American way of success…the more I don’t want to be associated with that type of success. Success to me is being at peace. Success is feeling a sense of pride about finishing a task that others told me I couldn’t complete. Success is being satisfied with where I am today! Taking time out of my busy, hectic schedule to sit down and just EXHALE!

Throughout my sojourn in life I don’t want to be A PUBLIC SUCCESS BUT A PRIVATE FAILURE. Life is too short to be concerned with what others think of me. I heard on the news this morning that someone was killed in a traffic accident on his or her way to work. The person that was killed obviously had no idea that today was going to be the last day that they walked this earth. I couldn’t help but wonder what possibly could have went through their mind as the life was snatched out of them…it makes me wonder. Life is too precious to be encumbered with the things in life that don’t matter. Today is no different than any other day and it is whatever I make of it. If I say it’s a horrible day, then it’s a horrible day. Things may not go my way, but it’s still going to be whatever I say. The bible tells me “death and life is in the power of the tongue.” So I have to take the authority that has ALREADY been given and make this day a good day by speaking it into the atmosphere. I am not promised tomorrow. Hell, I’m not even promised to see this evening, so I have to, in the famous words uttered by Leonardo DiCaprio in the motion picture, Titanic, MAKE IT COUNT!

Know Thyself

Each day that the Lord gives us is a day to reflect upon how far we have come along this journey of Faith. Today is a new day and we can’t forget where we’ve come from. It’s been a rough journey thus far, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve been through so much that I’m not willing to do anything that will cost me the place where I am today. I’ve gone thru enough hell that I’m able to look at what used to hold me back and turn my head away from it with no serious desire to go back. I couldn’t always say that…but I had to run out of my own power and accept the power of God. I used to want to be half in the world and half in the church, but that’s not what God was looking for. As much as I wanted to live totally for the Lord because I knew that He had ordained a powerful destiny for my life. I mean, although I saw the potential, I didn’t think, honestly, that I was adequate for the task. Do you understand what I’m saying? I didn’t think that I was capable of living a life victorious. In other words…I didn’t believe I could do it! But God has shown me that I can do it if I say I can!

You’ve got to know that you know that you know…who God is. That’s why it’s been difficult in your life…that’s why it’s been rough…that’s why he’s allowed your friends to walk away from you…that’s why He’s allowed you to go thru the strife that you’re going thru now! When I remember what I came thru, when I reflect on the pain and torture…the loneliness…the silent tears…the weary days of walking around feeling rejected and forsaken…when I reflect and see how the enemy deceived me and almost had me walk away from my inheritance…it fuels me to keep pushing forward NO MATTER WHAT! Not necessarily for me, but for the next generation! I think of those who are coming up behind me, whose lives are connected to mine who will suffer if I don’t make the decision myself to get up and make a difference. I’ve got to do it…I can’t wait on anyone else to do what I know God is calling me to do…what about you? What is your decision going to be? Are you going to stay in the past and keep your own self from walking in victory and allow an entire generation to be worse off just because you can’t get past your pride? Or are you going to take authority and realize your full potential? You are more capable than you give yourself credit for but…the choice is yours!

Straight from the Heart

I have been struggling with this for quite sometime now and just now realizing what it truly is. I don’t like being alone. There is no other way to say it. When I’m all by myself, I tend to get very real with the "Me" that I’ve been hiding from others. As I contemplated whether I would really get this transparent with you today, I had to sit and reflect and ask myself, “am I going to be real with everyone?” At first, I was tempted to write something nice and artificial. Something that sounded nice and rosy so that everyone could have that warm fuzzy little feeling inside. Then, I thought to myself, Hell no!

I didn’t struggle to get to this place to get scared of my true feelings. This isn’t easy, putting myself out here like this never is, but if it helps somebody, that’s what it’s all about. But my struggle on the inside can’t be camouflaged when I’m alone…this is why I like to be around people. However, I’ve come to the realization in the past few days, that you can be amongst a crowd but still be all by yourself. This doesn't feel good at all.

As I dare to take this journey called "life," head on, I’m faced with the reality that there are some issues that I’m going to have to continually, daily deal with. Again, I thought that certain struggles in life got better as I matured. I thought that I could reach some state of utopia where angels could sing over my bed. But I’ve found out that I was in a dream world because that isn’t the case.

Walking on this journey and reaching out to people all the while many times I feel as if I’m the one in need. Who is going to be there for me when I fall short? Is there anything or anyone out there for me to turn too? Just some thoughts that make me go Hmmmm? One of the things I agonize, because I'm constantly in front of people on a consistent basis, I don’t ever want to come off as if I have it all together, but then, how can I market myself and say to someone, "go ahead, c'mon and walk this walk with me!"

The only thing that really keeps me in right perspective is realizing that the generation coming behind me needs to see authenticity. As difficult as it is, WE, as peculiar people will never fit into the mold that man has formed for us. As we continue to dive deeper and deeper into our destiny, we have to understand that no one else is truly going to ever understand our calling in life, but us. Yes, it is a lonely feeling, but if you don't face what you're afraid to face, then how can you, in right standing, raise up a generation? How can you prepare them to be the best if you don't have the courage to journey deep into the depths of your soul and uncover what you've been afraid of?

Just a thought provoking word from the heart of a priest...

Uncovering the Mystery Within

When I’m alone, I’m at my point of greatest vulnerability. Why is that? Well, for one, because there is no one else to deal with or talk with, but me. The things that go thru my mind when I am left alone surprise me. I can really see who I am for real when I am alone. When I’m sitting in a house, apartment, or office and I hear the things that are going thru my head. WOW! Some things I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I could get away with. But I reflect and ponder. I sit waiting for something to happen…what? I can’t say for sure.

Why do I do many of the things that I do? What am I really in search for? What is it? Affirmation? Acceptance? There are so many things that I could get myself involved in…and there are so many things from my past that I honestly would love to do if just for one more go around…but, yet I still hold out because that’s not what I really desire. Yes, the instant gratification is nice, but I still am left empty.

Have you ever sat down and asked yourself why you do the things you do? Have you ever really thought about that and realized that you have had the same experiences with the past few relationships? This is one of those questions that make you go Hmmmm? You can’t rush through this one. Everything hinges on what you discover right here.

I must warn you, you may not be ready for what you discover about yourself. For many it will be very painful, but you have to keep in mind that you’re attempting to discover the mysteries that lurk deep within the soul. This is un-chartered territory for many of you, but I challenge you to be bold and courageous and uncover the stuff that always gets you caught up in a snag. I have to be honest, at first, I was scared because I didn’t know what I was going to uncover about myself, but afterward, I found a redemptive freedom unlike anything I had experienced before in my life. What will you discover about yourself that you’ve been afraid of facing, if and only if, you’re brave enough to take the challenge?

Let's Talk About Sex

People tend to shy away from discussions about real life issues such as sex, but I, for one am always wanting to delve deeper because I know that young people are searching for answers…and if I don’t talk about it, they’ll just turn on the television and listen to some fool who decides to add their two cents to the issue.

It’s not easy in this world. Sex is a part of our makeup as people and if the truth be told, everybody wants as much as they can get!!! I don’t mean to offend anyone but it’s true. If there are three things that we want as much of as we can get, it’s power, money, and sex! I have to thank God each and every day because some days are better than others...sometimes it gets rough...and I'm referring to the sexual struggle on this journey called “life” that very few people talk about it. I’m not just talking about abstinence for single people because there are married people who still yet struggle. Just because someone is married doesn’t mean that his or her struggle in the mind has come to an end.

There are people all over this world, and I’m talking about leaders and laymen alike, hurting...craving to be loved...longing for their innermost desires to be met...and where can they turn for real help?

I need something more out of life than a make-believe three-point sermon. I need to be able to go somewhere and get a word that is going to penetrate the very recesses of my soul.

Enough of the drama...it's time to be real. Where do people go when they have an uncontrollable sexual craving that, if not met, well you know how the story goes...they'll find a way to meet that need themselves...I mean how do people hold on when they feel there is nothing else to hold on to!

Most people, like I used to, think that it's just sexual...think it's just about the instant gratification! But it goes deeper than that...and the horrible thing is that very few places in our community are really set up to deal with the person who struggles sexually, the drug addict has a place to go, but what about the sex addict?

The number of pregnancies out of wedlock and the statistics of persons infected with an STD or even HIV are steadily increasing. It’s time to get real and be real with ourselves about what’s going on in our urban communities. And you thought the Jewish holocaust was something? At the rate that people are getting infected with HIV today, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!!!

What's Goin' On?

I don't know about you, but it feels as if the heat has been turned up about 10 more degrees. The pressure of life seems to have increased all around me, and in the midst of this, I'm at such peace. One side of me is like..."what in the hell is going on?" and the other side of me is like, "enjoying the ride of a lifetime." Why the contrasts? Why the abrasive and abrupt differences?

It’s the best of times and yet the worst of times…I feel like I’ve made so much progress but then I see that I have a lot of work yet to do. I see myself walking tall like a giant…but I feel like I’m as small as an ant and why would the Lord even care. The way I was raised, people would think that I'm just the wonderful son of a preacher man, working with youth, nice job, graduate of a prestigious institution, etc. etc., but there is another side of my mind...wow. I won't even go there because if I was to be totally honest with you...well, let me put it to you like this, I would be asked to turn my ordination papers in! See, this journey is tough! I don’t know about you, but some days I just want to throw my hands up and say f#** everything! Can I be that blatantly honest with you or is that too much? I mean, I don't know what your image of a priest is, but mine is quite different because I’m living this thing!

Oh yeah, it’s the best of times…I’ve faced many issues that I never thought that I’d be able to encounter, and then I can’t get comfortable with where I am on the journey because the enemy is still setting traps for me, in hopes that I will fall short…and then to compound the matter, the youth that look at me as a leader, I hear their voice in the distance telling me to finish my part of the race, and not only finish but finish strong! I hear them saying, "Finish with a determination so great that we have an edge up on the evil one." It’s amazing that as I prepare to enter a new season in my life, I’m more tired now than I was at the beginning of the year. I’ve got more people around me to talk to than ever and yet I feel the most vulnerable.

I see a vision of me walking down a dark corridor…knowing that God is ever present, but I can’t help but wonder if He forgot that I was waiting on His next command! I don’t know if anyone understands what I’m feeling right at this moment, but there is something that I’m in pursuit of and it has to be better than what I’m experiencing now! I’m at a place that I want to cry out, “my God, my God, have you forsaken me?" but I know that He hasn’t! The Apostle Paul says in Phil. 1:12, "the things that have happened to me have happened for the furtherance of the Gospel." But with that being said, I mean, hell! He can’t leave me this way! I’ve come thru too much to turn back…and I know that there’s something great on the way. My prayer is Lord, keep me focused…I know the plan of the enemy is to use those closest to me to discourage me. I know the plan of the enemy is to make me look at my situation and the situation of those I love through small eyes…but I know that something greater has been prophesied…something greater has been predestined. Yes, I’m discouraged about the state of the family throughout the world…yes, I’m dismayed at their present condition, but I know God! I didn’t go through all the stuff I just went through to get to this point and say I quit! I’m not a quitter! I’m more than a conqueror!

I’m not going to give up now…but it’s hard! That’s why my inner circle has got to be tight! My inner circle has to consist of those who can challenge me in the midst of what I’m going through to push through the veil and see God! I received some blows in the past few weeks that could have taken the average person out…but that’s why God conditioned me in the hallway of adversity…that’s why God commissioned the enemy to take me through boot camp because He knew that I already had it in me to be a survivor…but I had to find out for myself that I’m a survivor and I don’t have to just take anything!

No matter what…I understand that I’m here for more than just me. I’m not here because my dad met my mom and conceived me. I’m here because God orchestrated my existence for such a time as this…and He did the same for you because He is no respect of person!

It gets rough…but check your surrounding…you’re either with someone who is helping you to make it to a new dimension…or you’re with someone who is going nowhere fast, quick, and in a hurry!!!!

Like the songwriter said, "whatever my lot, thou has caused me to say, it is well with my soul!"

Get Yourself Up!

Ephesians 3:20
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.

My question to you is what power-faith do you have working in you? The text says that God is able to do even greater than your mind can even think about? But it’s all according to the stirring up of your faith.

For those who still are hesitant regarding doing what God said, it's time to step up to the plate. Your time is now! God has given you the authority to decide for yourself. You can choose to sit on the sidelines, watch others who have come in the Kingdom after you believe God at His word, move on in the power of His might, walk and do great and mighty exploits in His name. Or you can be apart of something that is greater than yourself...and move further beyond your years more than you could have ever imagined! Remember, this is the God that exceeds His greatness. He said that He is able to do exceeding and abundantly above all that we can ask or think, but it’s according to the power that is working in us!

He has given us the authority, but very few of us use it! It’s amazing how we watch life pass us by without using the authority that we have been given. This led me to lookup the meaning of the word, authority. The word, authority, means, the power or right to give orders, make decisions and enforce obedience.

Since He has given us the power to make our own decisions. We can't blame our ignorance on anyone but ourselves. We can't blame our hesitation on anyone but ourselves. We can’t blame our continued disobedience on anyone but ourselves because it is a defiant act of our own will. Why do we keep doing this to ourselves? With all that you and I both have been through, we should be so sick and tired of the enemy beating us up, that we should be busting the door down to get the hell out of the situation that we’ve been in for far too long as it is. How much more are we going to allow ourselves to go through, when He’s already told us that we have the authority to make the decision to come out of the situation. He's already told us and showed us in His word that He gets greater...why sit on the sidelines and sing our ‘shoulda coulda woulda's? Why? I dare you to forget the past. I dare you to let go of your yesterday. Don't live in what happened yesterday. Don't let the enemy trick you into believing that your circumstance cannot or will not change. IT ENDS WHEN WE SAY THAT IT ENDS. IT’S OVER WHEN WE SAY IT’S OVER! It's a new day! This is a day where new mercies are given to US! Don't allow the enemy to get you to think and believe that you aren't worthy of better. If God said it, believe it and settles that in your spirit!

Let this resonate in your spirit this day!

No More Delay

I Samuel 22:1-2

David therefore departed thence, and escaped to the cave Adullam; and when his brethren and his father’s entire house heard it, they went down thither to him. And every one that was in distress, and every one that was in debt, and every one that was discontented, gathered themselves unto him; and he became a captain over them: and there were with him about four hundred men.

It's time to rise up and take a stand. The situation and dilemmas that you and I continue to face on a daily basis will only change when we get sick and tired of them being the way they are. You went through the trials and tribulations for a reason. He took us through what we went through so that we would know that He is God and God all by Himself.

Before going to battle, you are given an opportunity to prepare. It's called boot camp and this is where you are put in uncomfortable situations to show yourself what you already have the ability to do when put to the test. The tasks that you are given aren't according to what you like and what makes you feel good but they have been assigned to you for your maturation, in other words, to grow you up. You also learn about the enemy that you have to fight. You realize how vicious he is and how he will rob you of everything that you've worked hard to achieve. He's out to steal, kill and destroy any and everything that is near and dear to you, including you! You have to be on top of your game. Because it’s not a game once you enter the danger zone...everything you do will determine whether or not you survive!

But remember, when going to war...that you're not fighting for just you. You're fighting for your loved ones...you're fighting for those who can't fight for themselves...you're fighting for the generations to come. You can no longer continue to be silent because silence is agreement! If you don’t stand and address the ills of society who will? If you don’t speak out against gang violence who will? If you don’t reach out with compassion to those who are infected with HIV and AIDS who will? If you don’t speak out about the growing rate of those with mental health issues who will? If you don’t speak out and address the growing high school dropout rate, who will? Quit coming up with excuses as to why you can’t because there are lives to save...there are children coming behind you that need to see men and women that are willing to give up their popularity and do what needs to be done no matter the cost!

There is no time to run scared! There is no time to hide out! Boot camp is over...you've now been activated to fight! Run with endurance (pace yourself) the race that is set before you this day! Once you decide that it’s time to stand, you will find as in the text for today, that there are others that are waiting for leaders, like you and me, to rise from the ashes! David found that there were 400 men to start with that were already on his side…but he had to show up to his place of destiny in order to discover that they were already in place…he later, because of his obedience got around 200 more men that enlisted to walk with him. All you need to do is show up to the place of your unveiling and your exposure will call men to rise up and join the fight! Be obedient to the call…your obedience isn’t for you, but for others.

I don’t know why you’re in the fight, but I am fighting for the generations behind me!!